Self Serve(d) is a blog by and for a sex-positive world. We are all our own sexperts and have much to contribute. Self Serve(d) includes the wisdom, experience and advice from the sexperts all around us. communication, collaboration, liberation & masturbation...
First off play parties are awesome! My slave and I went to one a few weeks ago and had the best time talking and playing! So with that said knowing what you are walking into can be really important when it comes to play party events. In actuality there are many different types of play parties. Some are men or women only, some allow sex, others do not, some are for male or female dominants only, some are in a private home others are in a public dungeon, some are open to anyone that can pay the entrance fee and others allow people to come only after an interview and with a reference, and some parties are very strict as to which types of play the do and do not allow.
Even though play parties may have different rules they will all have about the same set of protocols. So if you are new and want to go to a party and don’t know what to do or how you should act here are some things to keep in mind.
1) Don’t touch. Don’t touch a persons equipment, don’t touch another person’s collar, and don’t touch another person unless you know how they identity and/or you are given permission first.
2) Don’t interrupt a scene with either your person or your voice. Coming to close to a scene can break the tops focus or get you unintentionally (or intentionally) hit by a flying object. Talking loudly can interrupt a scene and giving your own opinion as to what you think could be better is both rude and intrusive.
3) Don’t interrupt the aftercare. Often people think that it is ok to approach someone because the scene is over, but be careful not to interrupt the after care, ask to approach first.
4) Respect the rules even if you don’t understand them. People who throw play parties take on a risk; they open up their homes to be raided by the police and themselves to be prosecuted for illegal activity. So respect that the rules that are established are there to protect the facilitators of the party. If you don’t understand why a rule is in place ask~ I bet there is a great story behind that rule.
5) Use discretion. If you met someone at a play party and you see then in the outside world do not talk about the party~ they may not be out.
6) Clean up after yourself. Wipe down all equipment when you are done, throw your disposable plates and cups out.
7) Don’t assume. Don’t assume you know it all, don’t assume your title gives you any privileges and don’t assume that if you act badly that people will want you back.
I love going to play parties! I really enjoy watching other people’s techniques since every scene is different in its own way, seeing how they negotiate, and comparing notes. I always learn something new. Play parties are a great way to socialize and network and learn. As well as seeing people act in their element. I f you haven’t gone to one~ go, if you haven’t been in a while go again!
If you are interested in play parties, power munches, or hands on workshops in the Albuquerque area, please contact:
If you are interested in an online New Mexico Community check out: Fetlife.com
group name: New Mexico Fetlifers