Friday, February 4, 2011

Leather Bear Tails: Understanding collars


A collar for each individual means something different; everyone has their own way of thinking about a collar and their criteria for what it takes from someone to earn a collar. I am a little old fashioned in this respect. My lovely lady trained for three years in a training collar before I locked her collar during our collaring ceremony. Now when I put my collar on her and lock it we both get an overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment, and damn she looks hot.

I am going to break down collars down into three basic categories, permanent, training/protection, and individual, however overall there can be hundreds of different reasons why someone will take or wear a collar. Also keep in mind that collars can be made of all different types of material. Some people opt for the chain or leather dog collar, others have custom collars made, or use posture collars. The collar is as individual as the person.

Permanent or locked collars are worn in committed, but not necessarily monogamous relationships. They denote ownership over the wearer and are very common in the community.

A training collar is usually only worn during tasks or duties were the submissive is learning or refining a skill; it is not locked and can be put on by the dominant of the individual. A protective collar is used when the submissive is under the protection of, and/or being considered by a certain dominant, or is used to denote when a person is in their initial phases of learning and needs to be kept safe. If something happens either to the submissive or if the submissive is acting badly, these issues are addressed to the dominate who owns the collar.

Individual collars capture just about everything else. People who are single but want the feel, or wear them to leather events so they are not approached, also people who wear them for sentimental reasons or for show.

For me collars are beautifully significant and rich in history and tradition. My slave wears three different collars each with its own significance, one is the training collar, and she wears this while doing chores around the house to remind her that chores are done with submissive heart. The wedding collar is a metal choker with a lock, and the anniversary collar is a chain-mail piece also with a lock. For both of us the waiting for the lock has special significance, we both really wanted to know and understand what the lock meant to both of us.

I see a lot in the community people who lock a collar after a very short period of time, and I say to myself, would this person accept an engagement ring after one week, or sign onto someone’s else s mortgage after only a few days? More often than not the collar goes off as quickly as it comes on. Taking time to earn a collar, and more importantly knowing who is locking it into your neck helps make the collar more important than just being the locked flavor of the day. It also shows respect to the decades of tradition that the collar has come to signify.
If you are interested in play parties, power munches, or hands on workshops in the Albuquerque area, please contact:
aelmailing@gmail.com

If you are interested in an online New Mexico Community check out:
Fetlife.com
group name: New Mexico Fetlifers



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