Friday, September 16, 2011

Leather Bear Tails: A day with my Hero

My brain is still on fire from yesterday, honestly, it all seems like a dream. Ten years ago when my slave and I first started our journey we picked up a book called “To Love, To Obey, To Serve: Diary of an old guard slave” Written be J.M. Johnson. It was one of the few books if not the only book that had a woman of color who was lesbian and slave identified. Honestly though when I read it there was so much that I completely did not understand, that made me angry, and made me think here was this amazing woman of service who was completely undervalued. The book talked about how her primary partner would lease her out to others. Her partner would negotiate everything and Vi would go, sometimes for years at a time to serve this other person. Some of her stories included going to get her Owners car out of impound and when the person at the impound recognized the collar around her neck and offered to let her Owners car go and clear her Owners record for free if she played with him, she did it. There was another story about how she felt she wasn’t thin enough, or pretty enough, and her Owner would choose others over her. How she needed to be a super slave and used cocaine to get everything done, even though she was awake for an entire week straight, her Owner never noticed. I remember after I read it, thinking, maybe I am just missing something here. But where was the person that was supposed to be keeping her safe? To be watching over her? A part of me was so confused.

Over the years her book stayed with me. I would think about her journey often and remind myself about my duty to keep my salve safe and never forget to cherish my slave and love her body.

So fast forward to now, and here is the good part!!!!!

New Mexico Fetlifers puts on an amazing event each year called Evo Revo. There are workshops, play parties, and vendors. Earlier this year they announced that V. M. Johnson was going to be coming this year, with the leather library. I couldn’t wait, here was my chance to have her sign my book, and if I was lucky answer a question or two. I planned early, got the days off of work, and was like a little kid. Then it happened.

First the cars water pump went out, then the brakes went out, and then the plumber had to be called. Slowly over the months our ability to pay for the event dwindled to less and less as we struggled to get caught up. When it came down to the last paycheck before the event we were so behind that there was no way we could go. We were both so upset. So when we were dropping off the items that we had collected for the raffle table I had to tell the head of Evo Revo that there was no way we could go. She was surprised but understood. Then about half way through the conversation, she said that she had an idea. Why didn’t we come over and join them for lunch? V. M. Johnson or Vi for short was staying with them, and was going to be there on Thursday why didn’t we stop by? I was so excited that I could barely breathe! So excitedly we offered to cook lunch for Vi and her guests and be over by one. Neither my slave nor I could believe that this opportunity was being offered to us!

SO! Carefully we planned the menu (my slave is amazing cook, her food is orgasmic!) And when the day came we packed up the van, drove over, and sat in the car for 20 minutes or so just staring. What if she doesn’t like us, what if we sound stupid? What if she takes one look and thinks that we aren’t people who are really serious? It was nerve racking!

Then we figured we should either drive away or get out of the car before someone calls the cops.

So we got out and came in. My slave started preparing lunch. Get this on the menu- pineapple and jalapeno glazed chicken with mango sauce, corn casserole, and collard greens. I sat down and tried not to pee myself. Vi was in the back working, and after a time came out. She came right over and hugged me! ME!! The she went right over and hugged my slave!! We all ate with her boi R, and at one point Vi said she was going to marry eve for her collard greens!!


We spent the next 6 and a half hours asking and asking questions. And she fielded them all. She explained so much for me. So this is paraphrasing because at this point I had been up for 24 hours as I worked the night before. But she explained to me that she would never serve who she didn’t love. Not necessarily be in love with, but love. She explained about the car impound story, I said, I didn’t understand and that I would never allow my slave to go to a n impound with 500$ by herself there was no way she would be safe. Vi explained that that was a different era, a different time, and that at that time people didn’t lock their doors, didn’t even think about it, and how it wasn’t an issue about her safety. She went on to say that part of this was her desire to be a super slave, and that she agreed to play because it was a lot of money at the time, and she really believed it was the best thing for her Owner. She added that it was not a smart thing to do. My slave asked about her body image, and Vi explained that part of that was her own demons, part of that was real, and part was politics of the time. I tentatively asked about her drug use, and her candor amazed me. She explained that she wanted to be super slave that her cocaine use was not to get high, it was to put a 28 hour day in 24 hours. And when her primary partner found out, she was less than happy.

Without a beat Vi answered every question, every inquiry. At one point I left the room to leave her and my slave alone, and just watched from the other room. Just being there was magic. Vi’s boi R was also an amazing character. I truly enjoyed R’s company, and heart.

This was a day I will forever hold in my heart.

My salve danced for Vi, we had gifts for Vi and R, I got to bring Vi water and laugh with her. I still can barely believe that we got to sit next to and touch this truly amazing woman. We talked about everything and her answers surprised and amazed me.

I will forever be grateful for this time to sit with my hero and soak in her words.

My Hero.

If you are interested in play parties, hands on workshops, or power munches kin the Albuquerque are please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:

If you are interested in a very active online community please find:

Group Name:

New Mexico Fetlifers

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