Friday, September 23, 2011

Leather Bear Tails: Vacation brain and AEL Monday!!

I have been on vacation all week, and I have let my brain slowly melt out of my ear. It has been great doing couple stuff with my lovely salve. After the amazing visit with Vi Johnson, I slept for three days, then we went to White Sands, and the next day I rebuilt the barn doors. Then we sat on the couch together and watched movies for hours on end. Just a warning here though- DO NOT watch the TV show “The Haunting” for 9 hours straight. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SLEEP. For the most part though, it was just what I needed.

In between doing nothing all week, I am prepping to speak at AEL on Monday. To be honest I am very nervous about speaking. I think that it will go well, but what I will be speaking about means a lot to me. I will be covering the four pillars of training the slave, submissive, and bottom, the eroticization of breaking and will hopefully have time to cover mistakes we have all made.

I really view training as the basis of the Master slave relationship. How the Master communicates, trains, and rewards or not rewards, and how the slave emotionally responds to training, if they are able to follow through over the long term, and if they have relatively the same expectations regarding reward or the withholding of reward has everything to do with whether or not the relationship will be successful over the long term. So I am passionate about talking about this. There is the thought that the Master slave relationship is somehow above or beyond the rules of relationships or life because Master says then slave does. BUT- it doesn’t work that way, and we need to stop thinking that it does.

The part about the eroticization of breaking I am really excited about. This theory really came from my lovely slave. We were talking about the movie “The Secretary” with Maggie Gyllenhall and James Spader. We were bouncing around ideas and she was saying that she had a gut reaction about the film in a negative way when in the beginning of the film the first secretary is leaving in tears holding the paper in her mouth. My slave talked about what her life must have been. She was the one tossed aside, and now alone will have to deal with what she allowed to happen in that office. She will have to somehow be ok with the idea that she gave everything and she was not enough. I remember when my slave said this I stopped what I was doing and looked at her, and from there we formalized this theory about the eroticization of breaking.

Lastly I will cover mistakes, I love talking about mistakes! It is so much fun! Those are the stories that a person really remembers. I have made my share that’s for sure. Like the time I sprang anal sex on my slave, umm, at the time, not so funny, but it has become a running joke- “just relax you’ll like it later…”

Or the time we were in a local vanilla group and we were out but this other couple wasn’t. And not thinking we were asked a leather question and I turned to the other couple and said you two would be able to answer that question better then we could. We totally outed them, without thinking, I was SO EMBARRASSED!

Then there was the time when we were very new, and my slave and I were asked to go to a party. We were the only player there so a few people asked to be flogged. In between floggings (all with the same flogger I might add—ugg!) I was so thirsty. So friend came over and offered me something to drink. I took a big long drink and then realized it was alcohol. But instead of stopping everything I just continued what I was doing!! WTF?!?!?

I was such a baby back then!!

So I hope that you will come and join me on Monday for AEL! It is going to be a great time!

If you are looking for power munches, hand on workshops, or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:
If you are looking for an active online community please find:
Group name:
New Mexico Fetlifers

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