Friday, November 4, 2011

Leather Bear Tails: A Masters connection to Power

Lately I have been on this kick about the Masters personal connection to power. Initially when the words came out of my mouth, it was a huge catharsis for me. All of the sudden I understood myself much more than I ever had in the past. But I also gained a bare bones understanding of Masters that I completely disagree with. I still disagree with them, but instead of shaking my head in complete disgust, or getting defensive because of the underlying push to be more “like them” I can say to myself --- Ohh, that is why they do that. And more importantly, that is why I don’t. Just recently, I began to understand that this concept actually overlaps all things, and I started looking at it from an emotional point of view.

In actuality we see a person’s connection to their own power played out all of the time. If a person wants to be the smartest person in the room instead of just sitting back and listening they will degrade or make fun of others to try to make themselves look better. The person that wants to feel better about their body, so they get with a partner that they can feel superior to, or the person that wants to be more eloquent so they will make fun of their partner to get them to stop talking.

These personal dynamics don’t stop just because we enter into Master and slave relationships.

For some Masters to connect with their sense of power they feel a need to get involved with someone that they feel is lesser then them. For other Masters it doesn’t matter if the slave has skills or abilities that they don’t because the Master connects with their sense of power by destroying the confidence of the slave to do those things. I have seen Masters who correct their slave’s grammar incorrectly. Masters who stop their slaves from talking by calling them outright wrong on even the smallest of things that quite frankly don’t have a right or wrong. Masters who enforce eating and exercise guidelines on slaves to create not only a definitive overall body and mind weakness, but also to reinforce the insecurities that the slaves feel about their own bodies. I have heard of Masters who ridicule and demean the slave’s orgasms, to create a sense of failure over their own sexual responses. Masters whose only communication to their slave is punishment based.


In my mind I can say, ok, there, take a deep breath and remember that this is about the Masters connection to their personal power. That these things, another deep breath here, are not things that I connect with, or understand, but (breathe, breathe), that make perfect sense to that Master.

Then I pause and say, just because you have a personal connection to power in a certain act and just because you have someone willing to go along with that act does not mean that the Master should do it or that it is healthy to do.

So here is my connection to power. I love having a slave that is a powerful person in her own right. I get a contact high off of her successes, and I get a deep down tingle when I see her lead and watch her grow.

I love owning her because she is a tornado of power, she is worth owning, and doesn’t bend to my will because she has none of her own. She bends to my will because even though she has all of this power, she chooses to. Although she is in many ways smarter than I am, a more balanced leader then I am, and more knowledgeable about sex and body image then I will ever be, she bends herself to me. I am honored to own a woman so strong, so powerful, so intelligent, and such a force of nature. I connect with my sense of power because she connects with hers.

I can’t imagine it any other way.

If you are interested in power munches, play parties, or hands on workshops in thee Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:

If you are interested in an active online community please find:

Group name:

New Mexico Fetlifers

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