Friday, December 9, 2011

Leather Bear Tails: Aftercare

For a long time I have heard about Masters and slaves, or bottoms and tops that do not do aftercare. About a year ago I was at a party and a top and bottom were talking, they were saying that they both thought that aftercare was a joke. The bottom said that they had no need for that touchy feely mushy stuff, and the top said that aftercare was not their job. I was a little taken aback by this conversation, and I reluctantly spoke up that I enjoyed aftercare. They both looked at me like I was growing horns, and the conversation ended.

I remember a few years before that, I was at a presentation on M/s dynamics. The Master said that for him aftercare consisted of the slave packing up the toys back and cleaning the equipment, if the slave was lucky they could quickly kiss the Masters boots.

Intellectually I get it that some people are not geared toward aftercare, but honestly, emotionally I don’t understand it at all.

Recently when I co-topped my slave with another couple I knew that the other top did not do aftercare. I was very interested in how this was going to go, because I had never seen or experienced this first hand. I completely respected their no aftercare boundary, and so when the scene was over the other top left and I began the aftercare to my slave.

Because the concept of no aftercare is so foreign to me, I am really curious about why other people are not into it.

I have seen that bottoms are all very different coming out of scenes, some bottoms are wide eyed and energized, others are quiet and happy, while others are just glazed and confused. So maybe that is it, some bottoms are just energized by the scene and don’t feel a need for closeness, or touch. I have seen Dommes that come out of scenes the same way, some are energized, others are glazed over into top space, and some just want to eat and talk. So that takes over I guess and their needs are to be social and laugh.

I often find that throughout a scene I go as under as my slave. I have a very heavy top experience, and many times I walk out of a scene slightly glazed over and needing something to eat and drink, as well as to sit down and be quiet.

Usually after a scene my slave is fairly immobile, she has a glaze over her eyes when she can open them, is very thirsty and a little incoherent. She feels very vulnerable and very soft, and it draws from me an intense sense of protection and love. I am fulfilled by the feeling of connection as my slave folds into a pile of goo, and I hold her and whisper sweet things into her ear. I usually have someone watch over her as I get her something to eat and drink and return to cuddle her as she slowly comes out of it. If we are at home I get her a snack, and she usually falls right to a deep, snoring, drooling sleep.

So if anyone is willing to tell me about their experiences of not wanting after care I would love to hear from you to understand this concept a little more!

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