Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Studying Sexy New Mamas...

Self Serve is all about the sexual well-being and satisfaction of new mamas. We talk to parents everyday about how tough it is to bring the sexy back after baby. In addition to the significant challenge of added fatigue and stress, changing body image can be an issue. Too often, moms are seen as, or sometimes feel a-sexual or less attractive after giving birth, nursing or taking on the mother role. We want to help moms and their partners feel sexy and embrace changes in a positive, constructive way.

We can always learn more about how new moms feel about sex and their bodies after baby. You can be a part of the research! Researchers from The Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University are conducting an online survey regarding women’s sexual experiences and body image during the postpartum period.

Debby Herbenick, Associate Director for The Center for Sexual Health Promotion details:

For this study, we are recruiting women who have given birth for the first time in the past year (e.g., first time mothers whose baby is one year old or younger). Women who choose to participate in the survey will be asked questions about their birthing experience as well as their body image and sexual behaviors.

The online survey will take approximately 10-15 minutes and upon completion participants will have the opportunity to enter to win one of 50 $20 VISA gift cards.

To learn more about this study and decide whether you want to participate, please visit the following website:

If you have additional questions about the study, please contact debby(at)

So if you're a new mom or have friends who are, check out this survey and contribute to sexual health research!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

They can be Your Lesbian Radio, too...

A loving shout out to Donna and Denise of My Lesbian Radio!

Matie and I had so much fun talking to them on the show last week. It made me feel all mushy and proud to be on an internet radio show with thousands of people all over the country listening. The lesbian diaspora if you will...

Wherever you are, if you have been, are or plan to be a lesbian or if you just love 'em -then download the podcast of MLR or listen live every Wednesday night 9-11 pm EST.

Monday, June 21, 2010

All Aboard the Penetration Station!

I own a sex shop. I love having lots of toys and accessories around the bedroom for a good time. But it's rare that a new sex product is brilliant enough to become an item I use almost every time I do it.

The Penetration Station really just makes me want to yell, "Choo, Choo!" - it's one of my new favorite new sexcessories. The Penetration Station is a set of tethers and neoprene 'handles' that makes more sex positions easier and supports your body during sex. So often we want to have marathon-runner sex when in fact, we are surely not even walking the 5k. It's during the best sex that we tell ourselves we wish we could go for hours, hold that leg up longer, support your partner's body weight more easily, or be flexible enough to get that angle just right. Finally, Sportsheets invented the Penetration Station, which makes all that great sex easier to achieve.

This set up helps support you and your partner, making it a breeze to reach and maintain new and fun sex positions. This lovely set also can be a life saver for those with disabilities.

Click for a demo of how it's assembled. The system is secured around your mattress for support, and four tethers pop out the bottom and top of your mattress as foot and hand loops. I can keep my legs up with less effort, I can lean my feet against the top tethers for support, and pull myself up for deeper angles when everyone's 'hands are full.' One feature I love, too, is that I can tuck all the pieces under the mattress out of view for privacy.

It's rare that products are developed in the sex toy industry that actually solve common challenges in an innovative, smart and affordable way. Sportsheets has done it with the Penetration Station. You may not know its glory by looking at the package, but I'm getting on that train, and I encourage you to hop on, too.


I was excited to have this review posted on Betty Dodson & Carlin Ross' site They are funny, smart and fabulous. Check out their movies & blog!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

More Sex Ed, Not Sex Drugs...

Every day at Self Serve we help women and men with sex and relationship challenges. We put a sex positive spin on peoples' outlooks. We encourage education, trying new activities and honest communication. It's amazing how these sex and relationship skills, skills no one is taught in school, can do wonders for boosting ones' sex life.

But I don't believe the latest brain drug Flibanserin can guarantee the same results.

There’s a lot of
controversy surrounding Flibanserin, and it's going for approval at the FDA tomorrow. Look. It’s not that I don’t want to find a magic pill that brings women and men desire. It’s just that I know it’s not that simple. That is why I hope the FDA will vote no on this particular drug.

When the majority of women still don’t understand their own
basic sexual anatomy, there are some vital steps missing when we jump to pharmaceutical solutions. That, and 6 months of research on a brain drug that offers maybe "one more sexually satisfying event" per month just isn't enough to convince me.

It's refreshing when
medical research states the obvious truth. For example, one 2003 study "emphasizes the [importance of] psychological and social issues that contribute to sexual distress in women and propose that we further examine the distinction between “dysfunction” and “reaction to circumstances.” A stressed, busy, tired working woman may not get off or get turned on at the drop of a hat. Or pants for that matter. Ask any woman and she will probably confirm "circumstances" of her life are relevant to if she's in the mood.

A recent Portuguese study really hits the nail (er, clit?) on the head. The article proposes that “it is possible that in the vast majority of cases in which a clinician would administer a diagnosis of FSAD [Female Sexual Dysfunction], that if more effective stimulation were applied, arousal may not be impaired, and the FSAD diagnosis would not be given.” In laywoman's terms: If her partner could perhaps learn how to better stimulate his ladyfriend, there would be no medical problem in her capacity for pleasure. There are many ways to find
effective stimulation without a prescription. She's not broken, people. It's just that no one read the manual.

Feminist sources I respect are mocking those of us against flibanserin, but they're getting it wrong. I think Lisa Cullen summed it up best in describing the disappointing results of the clinical trials.

Hopefully the controversy of unsuccessful drugs for female sexual pleasure will at least raise the topic in our national consciousness. The debate for or against the big business of medicalized sex may get my panties in a bunch, but at least female pleasure is getting some attention!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Awesome new adjustable, rechargable vibrator: G Ki

Check out Matie's Review of the G Ki, the latest in rechargeable vibrator technology.

Available at Self Serve

Available at Self Serve

Friday, June 11, 2010

We are feminist and we love porn

Violet Blue is leading the way for sex-positive feminists that love porn. This weekend a conference in Boston is aiming to stop porn culture. The feminist sexuality educators at Self Serve would rather see porn revolutionized.