Friday, June 29, 2012

Mini Self Serve Workshops at Pridefest

This year at ABQ PrideFest on Saturday, June 30th, there is a hot new entertainment area- bringing the SEX back to sexual identity at Pride!

Our sexuality is an important part of being human.  Having consensual, safe and fulfilling sex throughout our adulthood is both satisfying and adds to our growth experience.  Unleash is one of the many new features of PrideFest that will offer a private place for adults to receive education and experiment with new ideas about sex.  And it's inside, so you can take a break from the hot sun!

Molly and Matie of Self Serve are offering free mini sex ed workshops at Unleash.  Our schedule:

3:45 pm  Our Favorite LGBT-friendly Sex Toys:  Meet your new best friend! Join Self Serve co-owner Matie Fricker for a quick run down of the TOP TEN LGBT Sex Toys.

4:15 pm  Hot Safer Sex:  We know we should have safer sex, but often we don't know how to make safe sex sexy. Join Self Serve co-owner Matie Fricker in a quickie that will give you the tools to use safe sex supplies to have the best sex EVER.

5:00 pm  Strap Ons:  Get Self Serve's Top 10 Tips for having better strap on sex.  Learn about the newest gear, Reach the best hot spots, Find your rhythm and own it!

5:30 pm  Trans Sex Tips:  Self Serve co-owner & Sex Educator Molly Adler will provide sex tips for trans folks and their partners. Gain resources, Find sex positive language, Explore toys & Get creative in the skin you're in!

Unleash will be open from 11am-6pm with shopping, photos, and hanging out—cool down after the Parade! Take a “Break the Shame Chain” photo (photos will be available with Alibi and Fox Fotography).

Many have come together to present…
  • New Mexico Leather League: Demonstrations of Single Tail, Temporary Piercing, Florentine Flogging, and Decorative Rope Work.  Also, a “What Is Leather” Discussion.
  • New Mexico: The Next Generation: ”Negotiation 101″ class, and demonstrations on Mummification and Rhythmic Spanking.
  • New Mexico FetLifers: ”How to Play Kinky with a Cupcake”. Learn how to spice it up, talk to your partner, and some basics of fetish fun with our amazing Cupcake!. Also, poetry by Rich Boucher, rope demonstration by Troll, and violet wand demonstration with CountBlackRose.
  • NovelTease New Mexico: The lost stage art of Burlesque.
  • Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center: Sex education for grown-ups.

Lots more at Unleash all day!  Check out burlesque, kink, lectures and more.  There are 2 stages and lots to see.  Here is the full schedule:

12:30 pm   NM Leather League Demonstrations & Discussion
1:00 pm     NovelTease Burlesque
1:30 pm     The Next Generation Demos & Education
2:30 pm     How to Play Kinky with a Cupcake
3:00 pm     NovelTease Burlesque
3:30 pm     Leather: Who Needs it? with Special Guest Patrick Mulcahey -link
3:45 pm     Self Serve Sex Ed: LGBT friendly Sex Toys
4:15 pm     Self Serve Sex Ed: Hot Safer Sex
4:30 pm     Poetry by Rich Boucher
4:50 pm     Rope Demonstration by Troll
5:00 pm     Self Serve Sex Ed: Strap Ons
5:10 pm     Violet Wand Demonstration
5:30 pm     Self Serve Sex Ed:  Trans Sex Tips

Pridefest admission starts at $15.  Purchase tickets online through June 29th

Monday, June 18, 2012

Self Serve on Coyote 102.5

Join Molly & Matie on 102.5!  We will be offering sex advice with Erica Viking and Big Benny on Coyote 102.5 every Tuesday morning at 9 am.

We'll answer sex questions, introduce new sex toys, and share resources for learning more.  Use the Self Serve, Big Benny or Erica Viking Facebook pages to suggest topics and ask questions!  You can listen from anywhere... click to listen streaming online.

We'll see if Big Benny is wearing a shirt come tomorrow morning...

Monday, June 4, 2012

Sex After 50 in the ABQ Journal

We were pleased to see another article highlighting sex for people over 50 in this week's Albuquerque Journal.  Our culture is not too sex positive when it comes to aging, but that's one more reason Self Serve exists.  Here's to a life of much pleasure, at any age!


It’s just a myth that people in their 50s and 60s aren’t interested in sex 


Ask young people if they think their parents and grandparents still enjoy sex, and it may evoke a roll of the eyes and an exclamation of “gross!” 
That “ick” factor is partly the result of living in a youth-obsessed culture, and partly the result of the myth that people reaching their 50s and 60s are neither sexy nor interested in sex, says Molly Adler, a sexuality educator and co-owner of Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center in Albuquerque. 
The Nob Hill store (  ) sells sex toys, books, body products, videos and other adult fare in a fun, informative and guilt-free setting. 
It’s a fact that bodies do change as they get older, and some of these changes are physiological and have a direct impact on a person’s desire or ability to perform sexually as they did when younger, says Dr. Aaron Geswaldo, a urologist with Albuquerque Urology Associates. 
There is a correlation between good health and good sex. Simply put, says Geswaldo, eat healthy; maintain an ideal weight range; exercise to improve strength and cardiovascular circulation; get high blood pressure, diabetes and other conditions controlled by medication if necessary; and stop smoking (besides the other health dangers associated with smoking, nicotine can constrict blood vessels and ultimately be a factor in erectile dysfunction, he says). 
There can also be a host of relationship problems that put the kibosh on sex for the 50-and-older crowd, says Kelly Chicas, a board-certified clinical sex therapist and counselor with Albuquerque Family Counseling (  ). 
Life transitions, such as retirement, often bring with it a loss of personal identity or the realization that the intervening years have made a couple strangers to one another, says Chicas, who specializes in couples and sexuality issues.     
“The kids have been raised and gone off, and now it’s just the two of them in the house, and if they have lost touch with each other over the years, they are unprepared for how empty the nest feels. They may look at their partner and think, who are you?”     
Despite the myths, she says, the over-50 crowd is also more open to experimentation and the use of sex toys, or “passion products,” as she prefers to call them.    
 *Put it into practice    Here are some observations and strategies for keeping the romance alive by getting aging bodies to cooperate with willing minds.     
Older couples may need to “redefine” what sex is to accommodate their changing bodies, says Adler. “They may de-emphasize vaginal intercourse, and try other pleasurable experiences involving the use of sex toys, erotic touch and massage.” 
*Aging baby boomers may experience divorce or the death of a spouse. Many of them are “getting back in the saddle again,” says Adler, and as a result, this demographic is experiencing more sexually transmitted diseases. Check out Self Serve for a course in safe sex, condom usage and making safe choices. 
*Sexual dysfunction is often a result of high blood pressure, diabetes and conditions that cause narrowing of arteries and vessels. Some medications to treat these conditions “may decrease blood flow to the penis itself or can cause side effects like loss of libido,” says Geswaldo. Consult your doctor. 
*Medications, such as antidepressants, as well as hormone changes that accompany menopause, can stifle a woman’s libido, affect blood flow and reduce vaginal secretions, says Chicas. Medications and lubricants can alleviate some of these problems. 
*Look at the “empty nest” as an opportunity to get to know your spouse again, Chicas says. The empty nest is also an opportunity to have sex anywhere, anytime. 
*As men age their testosterone levels decline, resulting in a type of male menopause marked by decreased libido and lack of energy and motivation. Testosterone replacement therapy may be a good option. 
*An enlarged prostate does not in itself affect sexual function, Geswaldo says, but the frequent urge to urinate caused by the condition can ruin the moment. Check with your doctor about medications to control the symptoms. 
*Viagra and similar medications are highly effective in the treatment of ED, but can have side effects such as light-headedness, runny nose, blurry vision and headaches. 
*Alternatives to Viagra-type medications may include the use of prescription dilator compounds selfinjected into the penis prior to sex, or by using an external vacuum pump to pull blood into the penis. 
*“There is no normal” when it comes to sex, Chicas says. “Normal is what’s normal for you and your partner. As long as you’re both happy with it, then that’s the norm.”  

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Interactive BJ Learning!

And by interactive we mean dildos.  

Stevie will be teaching another amazing BJ class on June 20th at the shop.  Sign up now... last month's class sold out!

Details:  Bulk up your blow job resume with this hands-on (a dildo, not a
person) workshop that teaches you about male sexual response and
reproductive anatomy before allowing participants to get some
“mouth-on” practice of new techniques, tips, tricks, and positions.
This class is for anyone who has a dick in their life and is
interested in showing it a little more oral loving!  $20/person or $35/pair

We’ll provide sterilized dildos for your use during the class, and if

you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact the instructor,
Stevie Morrison, at