We aren't the only ones saying Slow the F* Down

‘Slow sex’ movement creates intimacy

You may have heard of slow food culture- opposing our fast food culture and the politics and power of that system.  Well, certainly I can appreciate this slow sex movement for parallel reasons.  The techniques in this article are quite simple, but powerful.

An easy way to improve your intimate connection may just involve breathing, eye contact and slowing the f**k down. 

Pleasure is All About the Senses

We are so lucky as humans. There is potential for pleasure in every sense we possess.

I smell pine trees all around me as I walk on a forest floor of needles, and I'm taken back to days at summer camp walking through the grove. I taste black sea salt sprinkled popcorn ice cream and there's a combination of salty-sweet perfection on my palate. I see the ruby, orange sunset in a clear New Mexico sky and my chest fills with happy calm. I lock eyes with my love and my surroundings fall away. And yes, that Ani D. song makes me smile and I'm suddenly ten years back, driving from DC spontaneously to a concert in Maryland with my best friend.

I recall principles of Buddhism and of mindfulness. It seems a lifelong lesson to simply remember to pay attention. When we do go exploring with our eyes, ears, nose and mouth we can find such pleasure, such adventure, such joyous sensuality.

Every day we will no doubt hear, see, touch and taste life that doesn't alarm or excite us. We turn on the radio and tune it out, watch the news, lightly hug a friend or eat mediocre lunch. If only a little more often we could use each sensual opportunity to feel good. Each bite, look, listen or touch could instead be an opportunity for love.

I seek to be mindful and recognize my choice in the experience. I will look up at the sky instead of the sidewalk. I will look at art instead of the TV. I will turn on music that makes me smile. I will eat delectable, fresh foods instead of lazy, frozen crap. When I kiss my love, I will be present and enjoy the precious moment.

I talk to people at Self Serve about enhancing intimacy or sex with a partner. When we are mindful of each touch, kiss, look or sound our senses can give us a deeper feeling of pleasure. We already have the capability to take our intimacy further. So often it just requires being fully present.

While the concept of mindfulness or being present sounds simple, I acknowledge again that it's a lifelong challenge. It's okay if your brain floats away while you're in bed with your partner, after a stressful day at work. As with meditation practices, just let the distraction pass and come back to the present. Repeat.

Full disclosure: I am grateful for just enjoying yet another orgasmic meal at Jennifer James 101 in Albuquerque. My partner, friends and strangers have observed that I am a "good eater." It's evenings like this that I love my five senses. We enjoyed the shrimp coctel, Marble beer-braised chicken, tuna nicoise, Texas chocolate sheet cake a la mode and popcorn ice cream with sea salt.