The Way I See It | Dirty Thoughts by Billy

New on the Scene, Whatever that Means

    Hello to all you lovely people out there in the internet!  My name is Billy, and I just wanted to take a few sentences to introduce myself.  Although I’ve been a fan of Self Serve Toys for some time, I am a newbie here on their blog.
    My stats would look like this: 31/m/NM, but as we all know that hardly means you know a person.  Stats are a start, at least.  But, as I begin to post to the Self Serve(d) blog, we will all get to know each other, little by little.
    I am eager and excited to be working with the fine folk at Self Serve!  They do lots of rad work, and are a great source of knowledge and education.  They are a vital part of the Albuquerque community, and thanks to the internet they are also able to help people all over the world.  I’m honored to be working with them, especially with something so easy as pitching in my two cents once in awhile.  So, it is with great pride that I bring you the first installment of:

The Way I See It

by Billy McCall

   I’m not entirely sure when I began to first recognize myself as a sexual being.  I think my religious upbringing encouraged the denial of such an obvious fact.  This idea that we are all sexual beings.  But we are, it’s part of what makes us human.
    As I’ve gotten older I have learned to not only embrace my own sexuality, but to accept that everyone else has their own.  And that sex is all around.  And that it’s fun to think about.  Let me give you an example.

Prepare yourself for an oral invasion!

    I’ve been going to the dentist on a regular basis ever since I was a kid.  I hated it.  It seemed like torture, and this was how my mind got through it.  As a child I would pretend I was a spy, trapped behind enemy lines, and no matter how they tortured me, I’d never talk!  And when I made it through my 30-minute check-up, I walked out proud.
    But then I grew up, moved out, had sex…  And my next trip to the dentist was suddenly very different.  All my concepts of pain and torture and endurance had changed, due in large part to my experimentation with these ideas in the bedroom.  All of a sudden the dentist’s office felt a bit like a role-playing scenario, and the tools all looked like toys.  I no longer felt like doctor and patient, but more like master and slave.  With each command, I slipped further into submission, feeling empowered through my own obedience.
    “Open your mouth.”
    Yes sir.
    “You might feel a sting.”
    Yes sir.
    “You’re doing very well.  Just hold still, it will be over soon.”
    Yes sir.
    And although I don’t have a fetish for dentists, I wonder if I could.  Many people do.  A quick search online brings up scores of people discussing their new braces, or seeking out play partners to act out dental fantasies.  A visit to the dentist takes you directly into a power-play scenario, where one person is in charge, and everyone else in the room follows along.  So I don't think it would take much for me to develop a deep desire to have these acts preformed me.  To become excited by the idea of laying there, enduring discomfort, and doing whatever it is I am told to do.  I am already paying considerable amounts of money, is it really so different from a fetish-specific dungeon?
    Of course, I also wonder about the sex lives of the dentists themselves.  After all, they are sexual beings as well.  In their lives outside of work, do they play out dental fantasies?  Some of them must, I’m sure.
    This is how I now survive my trips to the dentist.  My mind drifts through all these topics, and before I know it, my time is up.  I thank them for the agony they’ve just put me through, then I pay them for their services.  I make an appointment to see them again, and I walk out into the world with a smile on my face.


    If anyone out there would like to contact me, you can get me at iknowbilly@gmail.com.  Take care, and keep it real!

Salacious!

In case you haven't heard yet, Salacious is a new queer, feminist, anti-racist sex magazine that's quickly winning a place in our communities' hearts... and other, slightly more salacious bits.

The following is an excerpt from my contribution to Salacious' premiere issue. They have officially sold out of the first issue, but you can still pick up a copy at Self-Serve--run, don't walk--they only have a few copies left!

Check them out at www.salaciousmagazine.com

Illustration by Mancer

Warning: The following is quite explicit and involves Daddy/girl play.




“Are you going to be a good grrl for Daddi?” A command disguised as a question.

“Yes, of course, Daddi.”

"Now then, I know you heard me. From this point forward you won't utter a single fucking word unless Daddi asks you a direct question. Do you understand?"

As I spread my legs, I begin to nod and am stopped short by you jerking on my panties so fast that my cheeks are exposed before I even know what’s happening, followed by your hand coming down so hard on my ass, you can see pink welts rising up immediately on parts of my exposed flesh. "Use your words, little grrl."

The pain shoots through me, causing my eyes to well up, and I stop the rubbing only momentarily before I remember and start back up again, quickly saying, "Yes, Daddi." My voice audibly quivering. Having inadvertently disobeyed one of your simple demands leaves me more pained than the blow from your open palm.

Softening a bit at the thought of your baby grrl crying in front of an imminent audience, you decide you'll teach me an easier lesson. "That's better, little one." Caressing my ass a bit, you gently pull up my panties, covering the stingy, welted parts with the cool, silky material before sliding your hand down and pushing the crotch of my panties to one side. There's visible wetness pooling between my lips, what with the rubbing, firm language, and stinging smack...This pleases you greatly.

I inhale sharply at the slightest touch of your fingertips there, confused by my mixed feelings of liking and fearing it. "It's okay, darlin’. I'm not going to hurt you. Just so long as you cum for Daddi--just like I taught you the other night--before our guests arrive. You're going to learn to not start a job you can't finish. Especially when it's a job for Daddi. Just because I taught you how to touch yourself, it doesn't mean this is something you're allowed to do on your own. You are to only do that for Daddi and with Daddi. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir." I can feel myself growing wetter and wetter with each word and the impending threat of potential embarrassment and punishment. I'm so scared that I won't be able to finish before the guests arrive. So I rub harder, much harder, and faster.

"That's right, baby grrl, you'd better get to work. Those guests are sure to show up any minute now."

You move your fingers slowly, teasing the fuck out of my tight, little cunt, just barely skirting the edges of my opening. "And if they get here before you cum for Daddi, do you know what's going to happen?"

"No, Daddi." The back of my neck glistening with the effort I'm putting forth and the fear of just how painful and embarrassing my punishment could be.

"I'm going to have to shove my big, hard cock inside of you and fuck you until you're screaming out in pain, our guests watching and waiting. After that, I’ll leave you to them, allowing them to do with you as they please."

"NO, Daddi!" I cry out before I can catch myself. Your free hand lands severely on my ass, harder this time, my body uncontrollably releasing a violent jerk as I swallow the pain.

"You will take your punishment like a good grrl. Or you will be punished even more harshly. It's all up to you... Now Daddi wants to see you push your hips into the bed, just like I showed you. And then lift your ass in the air. Do it several times for Daddi."

I follow your instructions to the tee, not daring to disobey again, achingly embarrassed that I messed up twice already. Watching my body moving against the mattress like that gets you all the more riled up and so you begin to flick your fingers faster and faster through my wetness, keeping me spread wide open. Which, in turn, makes it incredibly difficult for me not to squirm around uncontrollably. "Lie still. I don't want to see any movement on your part except for that which you've been instructed to do."

I quiet my body, wanting to be the best grrl possible for my Daddi and follow all his instructions explicitly. Maybe this way it won't be quite so bad in front of the guests and he'll be proud of me instead of so angry. But the motion of your fingertips has left me wanting...of what I'm not sure. I start to make little noises and you coo encouragement, your breath warm and moist on my ear, my neck.

I can't stop my body from instinctively pushing back to meet your fingers, wanting more.

“What is it, darlin’?”

"Please, Daddi...pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...Daddi...please..."

"Shhh, sweetheart. Not yet. You're not ready for that just yet..." Your cock throbbing and painfully stiff, wanting so badly to give me what I'm unknowingly asking for. Hearing me plead like that is such torture. Part of you is just wishing that I won't be able to cum in time and then you'll be forced to teach me that lesson. After all, a good Daddi never goes back on his word.

I whimper a little bit and so you decide you'd better give my pussy a little spanking. Your fingers smacking up against my wetness again and again is such a pleasurable sensation--audibly, visually, tactilely--that you can't help but do it a little faster and harder, making me drip even more. I continue to make little noises and by now you've had enough of that kind of taunting--the kind that gets your dick rock hard with desire, completely unbeknownst to your innocent, little grrl.

"Shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear another noise out of you, not a single fucking peep. And that includes when you cum--I don't want to hear it. No words, no sounds, nothing. You got that?" Not interested in a response, you continue your threats, "And you'd better fucking hurry up. You don't want to make Daddi hurt you with his cock. You don't want all our guests to watch while you cry out and scream. You don't want them to shove their fingers and cocks into all your holes and make you scream even louder, now do you?" Not getting a quick enough response, you get a little rough with me, grabbing a handful of my pussy and tugging hard. "Answer me, damn it! Do you want them to help your Daddi split you wide open and make you bleed?"

"NO! NO! NO, Daddi! Please, please no, please don't! PLEASE! Pleasepleaseplease! I'll be such a good grrl, please!!"

"Then you better fucking cum for Daddi." You ease up on my lips and spread them again, continuing to tease my opening, just barely pressing inside a bit, fucking me faster and faster with just the pads of your fingertips--priming me for a later date. "That's right,” you say, calming down a bit. “You don't want those guests to see you like this and be forced to help Daddi."

Clearly breaking into a sweat now, I grind my hips into the mattress harder and the sight of my sweet, little ass pumping up and down practically makes you cum in your pants. Sensing the building tension about to break, you press your entire fist up against my cunt. A warning.

Hardly able to speak, I barely manage to get out, "Daddi...may I...please...cum for you?"

Proud that I've remembered to ask, you grant immediate permission. "Yes, baby grrl, cum for Daddi. I wanna feel it."

With that very first word, I’ve begun to tremble and you can feel it shake violently through my entire body. "That's right, sweetheart. That's good. Such a good grrl. Cum for Daddi."

The combination of your words, anger, encouragement, teasing, manhandling, and threats have done a number on me and with the last spasm riding through me, I finally fully collapse into the bed, exhausted, giving my tired muscles a rest.

You wait a minute before removing your hand and neatly pulling my panties back into place--making me quiver ever so slightly. “You know, the Day of Atonement is just around the corner. I have a feeling you’ll be learning the true definition of repentance between now and then.” You give me a couple pats on my bottom as you rise from the bed to exit the room. Pleased, you see that my hair has begun to curl up into those unruly waves and kinks you so enjoy.

Lying there limp on the bed, from down the hall I hear, "Now straighten out your party dress, get yourself together, and don't you even dare think about changing those panties."

Yes, Daddi.

~Kiki DeLovely

The Third Kiss

Hi there!

I’m Kiki DeLovely, Self-Serve’s newest guest blogger. I’ve recently started publishing my erotica and I’ll be sharing excerpts of these steamy stories with you here.

This little morsel comes from my story “The Third Kiss” and appears in Best Lesbian Erotica 2011. Coincidentally, you can purchase said book at Self-Serve. ;)

I’ll just preface this to say that the excerpt is from the middle of the story--to find out what happens on either end, you’ll just have to buy the book. ;) Our narrator is typing her dream from the night prior to her crush...who happens to be sitting directly across from her.



We fell to the floor again. With fury and madness, fell onto each other. With burning and intensity, fell into each other. A tangled mess of hands searching, limbs interwoven, my lips unable to leave yours, your tongue wrapped around mine. Not caring if we could even breathe, let alone remember to do so. Grasping, desperately, pressing harder and harder up against each other, knowing that we had to remain above the thin layer of clothing separating mouths from hardness, fingers from wetness. Knowing it, loathing it, and yet, it making that first kiss all the hotter. The ardor gripping us so tightly that we might suffocate. That first kiss lasted an hour easily--maybe longer. You were packing and I felt you grinding against me, your cock stiff on my thigh. You wanting me so badly to do more to acknowledge its presence. Me wanting so badly to straddle you and ride out this orgasm that had been teetering on the edge from the beginning, leaving me dizzy now. If only for a brief moment of release. Knowing that, for me, it would be ever so brief--wanting more, always wanting more. So instead, reaching down, I grasp your hardness, hoping to relieve you, hoping that relief will last longer than a moment.

The moment my hand makes contact, you moan deeply in my mouth, your tongue reaching further, the vibration echoing down my throat, penetrating me as I wish you could. I take your cock in my hand and work it how my pussy would, rubbing you up and down, both of us too excited to take our time. I stroke you firmly, moving faster, as fast as I can with such the protective layer separating my palm from really getting a good grip on you. You’re so lust-crazed that you thrust at an impatient pace--an impending explosion bursting at the seams--your tongue moving with an unimaginable quickness. The way you move that tongue in my mouth, something I had never experienced before, and with such speed that it makes it difficult to concentrate on my task at hand. So I begin to suck on it, which quiets you briefly, only to make you all the more excited again. You regain control, fucking my mouth intently with your tongue, as you imagine what my lips would feel like wrapped around your cock.

And right then the seams give way and you explode with an intensity of bulls charging through a brick wall--coming so hard that I feel it rampage through me and all my weight collapses on you, exhausted and sated in the here and now.

We laid there, marinating in bliss for just a few minutes before realizing we had to get back. So we smoothed our clothes, ran fingers through each others’ hair, and started back. On the way up, you trap me against a wall in the stairwell and all the desire floods back, rushing over us, and you take my chin in your hand, bringing me towards you for another kiss.

I stop you. “Don’t you think you already used up your three kisses?”

You just shake your head and smile. “This is only the second one.”

Best Porn Spoken Word Ever...

Our friend just came into the shop today and shared an amazing spoken word performance. 

If you love porn, hate porn or wish porn was a little different -this is for you.  Especially if you want nerd porn...  Spoken word like this was meant to be heard, so definitely listen when you can!

Here's the text if you can't listen now:

Nerd Porn Auteur
by Ernest Cline

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
that are made for guys like me.
All the porn I've come across
was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males
Men who like their women stupid and submissive
Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos
with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected
liposuctioned women
Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation
in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
Fact.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.
I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:
Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world
is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,
I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:
Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework,
and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her
for hours and hours
until she reluctantly asks if we can stop
because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Summa cum laude, baby!
That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?
No.
Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.
I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.
And the women in my porno movies will be the kind
that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.
The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.
Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.
Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses
and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.
My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
beat them repeatedly at chess
and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies
because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.
There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren
of all sexual orientations.
Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a fucking gold mine.
I am gonna make millions,
because this country is full of database programmers
and electronics engineers
and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.
And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,
and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,
then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.
It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful. . .
And I will make you a star.

Bedtime Stories

Introduction

Does the world really need more erotica online?! I have no idea, but you’re here reading mine so apparently there’s something you’re interested in. What is it? Do you want to hear about my exploits in graphic detail so you’ll have something to masturbate to? Do you want to learn some new techniques or get ideas for scenarios to enact in your own life? Are you just interested in a purely clinical way in how people communicate in this new frontier of internet blogs? Maybe you know me…or think you do and are curious about my dirty, secret life. I'll tell you more about that in the future.
I make no claim to be a brilliant writer. There will, no doubt, be instances of poor grammar and incorrect punctuation. Don’t bother writing me to point them out – I won’t care. That’s not the point of my writing here. My stories here are just meant to get you thinking…imagining…learning.
Whatever your reason for visiting, I hope you’ll find something that peaks your interest. Let me know if there’s something you want to read about. Some of the stories here will be based on true events, and some of them will be fiction. Some of the “not true yet” stories will really be plans for a future occasion. Maybe one of those occasions will involve you.
Love,
Sheer Bliss

Tell me something…

What do you desire?

Do you want me to make love to you?

Maybe you would like to be led into a room glowing with candlelight and smelling of sandalwood. Feeling me kiss you gently on the mouth while slowly unbuttoning your shirt…unbuckling your belt…dropping your pants. Lain on a bed of silken sheets to be oiled and massaged while I coax you slowly to an erection then draw you onto me…and into me. Looking into your eyes while we move together rhythmically, slowly building to a powerful crescendo of togetherness.

Or do you want to be fucked?

Frantic hands pulling at your clothes, ripping them from your body, scratching you in the process. Hard kissing that bruises your mouth and takes your breath away while I push you onto the bed and straddle you. Your arms pinned while I suck and bite my way down your neck and chest until I find your cock and suck it hard into my mouth, demanding you get firm for me while I rub my wet pussy on your leg. When I can’t stand it anymore, I’ll squeeze your hips between my wet thighs and push you into me hard and fast, slamming against you until I feel you burst inside me, dripping out of me, panting beneath me.

Or do you want to be teased?

I would spend a day taunting you - flashing you in public and sneaking off to the lady’s room to masturbate so that you can kiss my hand afterwards and know exactly what I’ve been doing. Flirt with other men in front of you making sure you know that you are (probably) the one I’ll actually go home with. Once there I will slowly strip for you, maybe tie you to the bed and make you watch me touch myself while you get hard and impatient. Eventually you’ll feel my hands slowly flit across you just glancing touches on your balls and the dripping head of your cock. My tongue mischievously joining my fingers in a dance across your tender places, occasionally wrapping my fingers or lips around you and squeezing…stroking…until your breathing quickens and you are close to climax. Lather, rinse and repeat…and repeat…and repeat. But then I’ll stop…make you wait. Make you convince me that you deserve to cum while you shiver and pant with desperate anticipation. When I slide my hot pussy slowly onto you, I will pull off until only the tip of your cock penetrates me, quivering to get back in. Eventually I may let you cum in me, the long delay making you feel dizzy and breathless, the orgasm rendering you speechless…thoughtless…

Just tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.