Transgender 101

Author and counselor Nicholas M. Teich just published an insightful and accessible Transgender 101 post on Huffington Post.  This 15 point intro touches upon some of the most important points in beginning to learn about transgender issues and approach trans people with respect and empathy.  He wrote a basic book that introduces Transgender 101, as well.  If you're trans or an ally looking for clear, straightforward language in which to explain complex transgender questions, here is a way to find the words. 

We are lucky in Albuquerque that our local Transgender Resource Center of NM just opened its office around the corner from Self Serve.  The TGRCNM website has already been a crucial resource for transgender people of NM, and now their office space offers additional resources like HIV testing, a library, job seeking resources, clothing exchange and more.  Check out the TGRCNM website for resources like support groups, therapists, trans-friendly health providers and more.

Brickhouse Chronicles: Daydreaming The Fat and Queer Body Electric

Being a proud fat chick is important to me because being queer fabulous is important to me. Like many women, ever since I was a young girl, I always felt uncomfortable in my skin. Everywhere I turned (outside of the safety of my home), I was hit with the constant message that black was not beautiful and that not having a slender body was to be a source of shame and embarrassment. I developed a woman's body early and my wide hips, large breasts, and softly rounded tummy were constant sources of consternation for me because I wanted to be beautiful. I wanted to be graceful. I wanted to be loved.

I spent my high school years starving myself and exercising for three hours a day Monday through Friday, and binging on the weekend. I wanted so badly to be viewed as beautiful like the light-skinned black girls who seemed to find acceptance by society as creatures of beauty. In my mind, being thought of as beautiful meant that your life was so much easier. The thinner and lighter one was seemed to correspond with how nice people were to you. As I fell into the dangerous mind set that thinness and starvation equaled discipline, I just knew that once I got my appetite under control that the very un-Christian feelings that I was having about other women would go away. I lost a lot of weight and got lots of positive attention from friends and family for “finally taking care of myself” but the feelings of alienation from my body and sense of sexuality just wouldn’t go away.

Fast forward to my adulthood when I first came out of the closet….not much had changed. The only images of dyke women that were viewed as acceptable and sexually attractive that I saw when I first came out were those of thin, androgynous, white, and extremely athletic women. The starvation, exercise, and binge regimen that I had worked so hard to get rid of re-surfaced with a vengeance. I just couldn’t relate to all of the utopian stories that I kept hearing from various women about how once they came out of the closet, they found a sense of self acceptance not to mention a long line of lovers’ who were eager to get their hands on the abundant curves that these women possessed. My coming out experience was laced with encounters of fat-phobia and racism and I started to believe once again that love (or at least a good lay) was around the corner if I just lost these pesky hips, boobs, and my newly found sense of femme identity.

My saving grace came in the form of two things: 1) I started to go to the local Transgendered support group as a show of solidarity for my best friend 2) I found a book titled ‘Looking Queer’ which featured several essays from various individuals on the rainbow spectrum and their experiences with the realities of body image in the queer community. It was with the transgendered group that I learned to not only love the skin I was in, but the value of helping others in seeing their inner and outer beauty. It was with these incredible ladies that I learned that that things I had spent most of my life hating and hiding (hips, lips, and tummy oh my!) were things that the majority of them had to work hard for through surgery, padding, and ovarian fortitude. Thanks to these goddesses, I was beginning to understand the concept of Femme Power. The book ‘Looking Queer’ was the first time that I had encountered stories about the difficult road to fat acceptance that I could relate to. I read the stories of people who were poor, fat, and of color and how they navigated the waters of lookism within the queer community and realized that I was not alone.

As I gradually developed a stronger sense pride in having a body that was lovingly meant to be fat and dark skinned (and got laid…it does wonders for my disposition!), I started to venture out and try and learn new things that had always tickled my queer fancy, such as exploring the various sex and queer positive communities that were at my disposal and learning to dance to all of the beautiful Middle Eastern and African music that had always moved my heart. But I could not have gotten this far without first beginning to accept, love, and pamper my body. So for me, being queer fabulous is truly connected with learning the art of being fat and fabulous.

This is something I wrote a few years back in dedication to my journey, and to the love that my wife gives me.

Hair and Hips: A Nappy Girl’s Manifesto

I love my hips the way I love my hair
They are full and fierce with thickly coiled and curved defiance
They are a reflection of the women in my line who came before me
Dark skinned, full-lipped and wide hipped
Dancing, working, loving and birthing under the skies of sun-parched lands
I love my hips the way I love my hair
How they have stood in direct challenge to my attempts at taming them
Starving, torturing, burning, and hiding them to dull the pain of imperfection
The "imperfection" of being too fat, too nappy-headed... too queer
I love my hips the way I love my hair
How they are soft and alluring to an experienced lover's touch
Writhing, desiring, and needing
The pulling, guiding, thrusting, and licking of a night's heated lovin'
I love my hips the way I love my hair
They are a reflection of my life's joy as I admire myself in the mirror
Dark skinned, full lipped, wide hipped
as I dance, work, and love under sun parched skies.

Brickhouse Betties Yahoo Group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Brickhouse_Betties/

Brickhouse Betties Facebook Group:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/brickhousebetties/

My Wife’s Amazing Leather Bear Blog Home

http://www.blogger.com/profile/10359506735811402423

Re-post: Navigating TSA Policies for Trans People and Survivors

There is lots of fear and concern going around since new TSA procedures are quietly changing.  Please read this trans-friendly explanation of TSA policies and familiarize yourself with the requirements and options.  As the blog notes, "If taking to the skies is the only travel option, Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services recommends survivors familiarize themselves with TSA security procedures to help avoid a potentially triggering incident. While the TSA is tight-lipped about the changes, U.S. News & World Report has a good overview of what to expect when going through airport security."

If you dislike the new security policies or a TSA agent acts inappropriately while screening you, contact the TSA and/or the American Civil Liberties Union to file a complaint.


Always remember other gender non-conforming and transgender folks have traveled before you and will travel again all over the world.  If it's any consolation, you are not alone.

Transgender Day of Remembrance & Events

Every year on November 20th, people around the world remember those killed due to hatred and ignorance.  In our binary and sometimes tragically hateful world, transgender people are murdered simply for being who they are.  Transgender Day of Remembrance is an important time to remember these victims.  It's also a time to raise awareness about transgender issues and celebrate peoples' lives.

A recent op-ed in the Weekly Alibi discusses the significance of the Transgender Day of Remembrance and lists events in Albuquerque this week.  

If you don't know much about gender identity and transgender peoples' experiences, you have an opportunity to attend an awareness panel Friday, Nov. 19 from 6 to 7:30 p.m. at the Metropolitan Community Church of Albuquerque, 1103 Texas Street NE.

You can also learn from our sex ed links online.

Firefighter's Widow is Sued Because of Gender

A firefighter dies and his wife is sued by his family. The family of Thomas Araguz III, of Wharton, Texas claims the couple was separated. They want to strip her of death benefits because of her transgender status.

We can't say for sure what their relationship was like. We can't know the inner workings of anyone's relationship. But it is horrendous when a mourning family battles over assets, suing a fallen fire fighter's widow.

I can't imagine the pain this family is feeling for the loss of their son. But to negate his marriage after he dies? What do you think?