Leather Bear Tails: 12 slaves of Christmas

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Hilarious (yet troubling) Sex Toys

We at Self Serve are lucky to have a network of friends and professional allies in the sex positive, education-based sex shops around the US and Canada.  We're slowly coming out, and we're called the Progressive Pleasure Club (PPC).

Sometimes our friends are supportive when we're looking for items for customers, trying to review hyped-up new sex toys, or making sure the items we sell are bodysafe (since Self Serve only sells phthalate-free toys).

But I am so pleased to learn that one colleague has taken the time to blog about some really stunning inventions out there.  Searah from Early to Bed in Chicago has created a blog all about the oddest, creepiest and most offensive sex toys out there.  A post I just saw on Searah's Museum of Screwy Sex Toys actually just made my jaw drop - and I have seen some crap!  It's not that it's the most offensive or racist toy, it's just one of the oddest.  But don't take my word for it!





If you find this whole thing intriguing or amusing, do explore this blog.  I love that one tag simply says: body parts in the wrong places.  That kinda says a lot about what's wrong with mainstream sex toy manufacturing...

Searah's commentary makes it less scary and astounding.  Enjoy.

Leather Bear Tails: The “Real” Master Quiz

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Please Prepare for Take Off

An excellent visual aid for safer sex tips!

From designers Leo Chan, Eric Fung, Joseph Lau and Cyan Koo who submitted this fun illustration proposal to Designboom in 2010.

Orgasm, Inc Director Liz Canner on KUNM

Self Serve is co-sponsoring the film Orgasm, Inc at the Guild Sunday, April 17 - Tuesday, April 19.

Today at 12 pm MST on KUNM, you can hear Women's Focus Interviews with Liz Canner, Eve Espey, and more.

Susan Loubet talks with Liz Canner, director of Orgasm, Inc, a film that runs at the Guild Theater in Albuquerque, April 17-19th. Plus, an interview with Eve Espey, UNM professor of OB/Gyn, commenting on female sexual dysfunction and what they teach the doctors at UNM. Tune in for these, and many more intriguing interviews this Saturday on Women’s Focus.

If you haven't heard about the film yet, don't miss it!  Watch the trailer for more...

Orgasm Inc. Official Trailer from Astrea Media on Vimeo.

The Daily Show Recaps J. Crew Gender Panic

I love how the Daily Show breaks down the insanity.  Five year olds love nail polish.  A mom and her son play and smile in what Jon Stewart refers to as a mere "bondvertisement" in a J.Crew catalog.  Great new word, Jon.  It's really amazing what the mainstream media does with this.

When the slave is sick…

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Best Porn Spoken Word Ever...

Our friend just came into the shop today and shared an amazing spoken word performance. 

If you love porn, hate porn or wish porn was a little different -this is for you.  Especially if you want nerd porn...  Spoken word like this was meant to be heard, so definitely listen when you can!

Here's the text if you can't listen now:

Nerd Porn Auteur
by Ernest Cline

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
that are made for guys like me.
All the porn I've come across
was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males
Men who like their women stupid and submissive
Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos
with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected
liposuctioned women
Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation
in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
Fact.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.
I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:
Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world
is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,
I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:
Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework,
and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her
for hours and hours
until she reluctantly asks if we can stop
because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Summa cum laude, baby!
That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?
No.
Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.
I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.
And the women in my porno movies will be the kind
that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.
The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.
Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.
Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses
and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.
My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
beat them repeatedly at chess
and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies
because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.
There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren
of all sexual orientations.
Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a fucking gold mine.
I am gonna make millions,
because this country is full of database programmers
and electronics engineers
and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.
And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,
and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,
then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.
It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful. . .
And I will make you a star.

The Arousing Scent of Pumpkin Pie

This report from my new favorite news provider, WPBF of West Palm Beach, tells of new research on scents that turn men on.  A study published in Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality showed that pumpkin pie and lavender arouse men up to 40% more.

I enjoy the giggling news casters as they report that the study found "nothing turns men off." Among the scents that turned women off? Men's cologne.

Watch the amusing clip here:  Classic Thanksgiving Dessert A Turn-On, Study Says - West Palm Beach News Story - WPBF West Palm Beach