Friday, April 20, 2012

Transgender 101


Author and counselor Nicholas M. Teich just published an insightful and accessible Transgender 101 post on Huffington Post.  This 15 point intro touches upon some of the most important points in beginning to learn about transgender issues and approach trans people with respect and empathy.  He wrote a basic book that introduces Transgender 101, as well.  If you're trans or an ally looking for clear, straightforward language in which to explain complex transgender questions, here is a way to find the words. 

We are lucky in Albuquerque that our local Transgender Resource Center of NM just opened its office around the corner from Self Serve.  The TGRCNM website has already been a crucial resource for transgender people of NM, and now their office space offers additional resources like HIV testing, a library, job seeking resources, clothing exchange and more.  Check out the TGRCNM website for resources like support groups, therapists, trans-friendly health providers and more.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Best Sellers Sale!


Get 20% off our Top 10 Sex Toys!


For 10 days, we're offering a sale on our most popular sex toys for men and women.  If you need an excuse to add to your collection, now is the time.  Save 20% in our store or online.

Best Sellers

1.         Form 2 by JimmyJane
2.         The We Vibe 3
3.         Sidekick #2 Sleeve
4.         Calla Vibe
5.         Double Happiness
6.         3 Speed Power Bullet
7.         The Big O Ring Vibe
8.         Tenga Egg Sleeves
9.         Hitachi Magic Wand
10.       Mini Goddess Bullet

Monday, April 2, 2012

Self Serve is Hiring!

It only happens once a year or so...


Self Serve is hiring a part time/on-call Sales Associate/Sex Educator.

*Read our job description and how to apply below.  If you don't follow application guidelines, you won't get called for an interview.*

Join our small, hardworking team of sex educators! You have the opportunity to help people feel better every day, and create a sex positive space unlike anything else in New Mexico.

Must be 18+, open minded, excited about sexuality education and enjoy retail customer service.  This position is primarily for 4-8 hours per week and on-call/vacation coverage to be discussed.  This position is for shifts Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays and weekday evening events.  Weekday availability a plus.  This is a position that is best suited for someone with a flexible schedule.  

Starting at $8/hr with room for growth, generous discount, on-the-job training and other benefits.

Summary of Responsibilities:
*offer one-on-one customer service
*retail sales
*inventory: shipping and receiving
*email communications & phone customer service
*upkeep of dvd rentals, special orders, class & event sign ups
*staff evening classes and events
*occasionally staff trade shows and weekend events
*Merchandising: maintain and improve store displays
*Daily cleaning
*Follow store procedures
*Detail oriented administrative tasks
*Build relationships within community
*Support website maintenance and orders
*Help create more joy and sexual pleasure in the world!

Required Skills:
*Positive Attitude
*Retail or Sales Experience
*Friendly Customer Service
*Healthy, open and honest communication
*Dedication and Strong Work Ethic
*Comfort and confidence talking about sexuality
*Enthusiasm for a wide variety of tasks
*Open-mindedness and comfort discussing sexuality with people of all ages, sexual orientations, genders, kink, etc.

Professional Experience that’s a plus:
*Sexuality education
*Administrative experience
*Purchasing inventory
*Public speaking
*Graphic design
*Public Relations
*Website Design or maintenance
*Volunteer coordination

TO APPLY: Send your resume, day/time/seasonal availability AND cover letter to info@selfservetoys.com. Please put "Part-time Job Application" in the subject line. Applications will be accepted through May 17th.  Interviews will be scheduled in late May.
Please, no phone calls, email any questions.  If you do not follow these guidelines, you will not be considered for the job.  

About Self Serve: Self Serve is a fun and welcoming retail store and sex education center. Through our store, website and toy party service, we provide the opportunity for people to learn about sexuality and their bodies while shopping for high-quality sex toys and other pleasurable sundries. Self Serve supports women, LGBT people and anyone seeking healthy, positive sexual attitudes and perspectives, and sensual pleasure in everyday life.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Meet the Progressive Pleasure Club!


A New Generation of Education-Based Sex Shops Is Changing the Adult Industry

The growing community of independent sex-positive shops has a new home thanks to the launch of the Progressive Pleasure Club (PPC).  Matie Fricker and I, co-owners of Self Serve Toys in Albuquerque, New Mexico, started the PPC to share support and resources with other shops like ours, which help people make informed decisions about sexuality-related products.  
 
We wanted to get people talking about the unique work we do and the challenges and joys we encounter at Self Serve, and so the Progressive Pleasure Club was born. We believe everyone has a right to enjoy sexual pleasure in a smart and healthy way, and we the PPC will educate customers about local, independent stores where they can feel safe shopping, and can trust the safety of the adult products they buy.

Today a new class of social entrepreneurs are taking the lead in opening sex-positive, independent shops all over the continent. Self Serve is one of a dozen or so like-minded shops in cities from Portland, Maine, to Portland, Oregon, where trained sex educators offer a locally-owned, education-based, ethical place to shop for intimate goods. The Progressive Pleasure Club is a network of independent sex shops dedicated to helping people make informed decisions about sexuality products. Member shops are committed to the promotion of accurate and honest pleasure-based sexuality education, and to offering products that meet the highest standards of safety.  “We are thrilled that the PPC came into being,” explains Gina Rourke, owner of Nomia in Portland, Maine.  “Since 2004, Oh My in Northampton, MA and Nomia have been collaborating and sharing information, as well as our purchasing power. To have the opportunity to join with a cadre of similarly committed entrepreneurs with shared values is nothing short of revolutionary. We are excited to see how this collective will transform lives in our communities as well as the industry at large.”


In the next year PPC members will join forces to educate the public about adult toy safety, promote local support for small business, and lobby adult toy manufacturers to eliminate the use of phthalates and toxins in manufacturing.  “We have created a unique space for sharing marginalized voices, both ours and those of our customers. The PPC is bent on radicalizing the adult industry for the better of all,” shares Lea Caughlan, owner the Rubber Rose in San Diego.

As small business owners, we recognize that there’s power in numbers. And not unlike the healthy polyamorous folks we often serve, PPC members seek to approach business from an ethical place of abundance and positivity. After all, we share the goal of promoting sexual health and pleasure for all, and believe there is room for all to succeed as we strive to reach it.  Searah Deysach, owner of Chicago’s Early to Bed explains, "I am thrilled to be a part of an organization that is made up of small, local businesses that are committed to the same sex-positive, feminist values as I am. I love that we work together to help all of our shops thrive."

We look forward to meeting you in our hometowns all over North America, and helping you improve your relationships and lovin' in a healthy and happy way.

written by:  Molly Adler, co-founder of PPC

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Objects of Affection: People in Love with Objects

Most people get sentimental about a object of special significance. 'Objectiphiles' fall in love with those objects. They form relationships, and have erotic connections with their object of affection.

"Erika Eiffel founded the Objectum Sexuality Internationale group which has more than 40 members and a website."http://www.objectum-sexuality.org/

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Do it more & Do it better


So many couples and individuals approach us at Self Serve with a common question:  How can my partner and I have more sex, and better sex, more often?

In the fast-paced, stressed-out culture we live in, it's common for couples to find they love each other and want more intimacy, but the sex just doesn't happen.  I'm teaching a class this Tuesday night all about this topic.  When the willingness and commitment is there, couples can definitely find ways to improve their sexual satisfaction.

So much of the conversation has to do with expectations, priorities and creativity.  I look forward to helping couples figure out what they're looking to improve, whether it be the depth of their connection, how often they get it on or simply reconnecting when they feel distant.  It's important to remember that all of us are unique and there's no one "normal" frequency of how often one should have sex.  There's no "normal" of how we should be having sex.  As individuals, we have to acknowledge that our needs and desires are usually different than those of our partners.  The key is communicating and figuring out how to meet in the middle.

You can sign up for classes online, or call 505-265-5815.

If you cannot attend the upcoming Self Serve class, consider a consultation with Self Serve Co-Owners & Sexuality Educators Molly or Matie.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Vote Self Serve ABQ's Best Sexy Shop

If you love us, then Vote!
It's that time of year.  If you have a favorite business -whether it's Self Serve or your favorite local DJ- tell the rest of the city in the Alibi!   We've been honored to win Best of Burque's Best Sexy Shop for 4 years in a row.  Help us make it 5!

Recognition from the Alibi readers and the people of Albuquerque truly makes us smile and really helps our business.  If you love any local businesses, take the time to vote.  Thank you!


Friday, March 9, 2012

What Makes a BJ Great?


We are improving our classes, and adding to the most popular topic we offer... Blow Jobs 101!

Please tell us what you want to learn.  Fill out our brief survey and tell us what you think about blow jobs. (the survey link: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/85RKJRF )

We are creating a new fellatio class and we would like to have some "hard" data to use (pun intended).  We want to make sure that this new class showcases all the flavors of blow jobs,  so we need feedback from anyone who sucks, has, wears, or just loves dick!


Thanks for your long, hard work on this.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Way I See It | Dirty Thoughts by Billy

New on the Scene, Whatever that Means

    Hello to all you lovely people out there in the internet!  My name is Billy, and I just wanted to take a few sentences to introduce myself.  Although I’ve been a fan of Self Serve Toys for some time, I am a newbie here on their blog.
    My stats would look like this: 31/m/NM, but as we all know that hardly means you know a person.  Stats are a start, at least.  But, as I begin to post to the Self Serve(d) blog, we will all get to know each other, little by little.
    I am eager and excited to be working with the fine folk at Self Serve!  They do lots of rad work, and are a great source of knowledge and education.  They are a vital part of the Albuquerque community, and thanks to the internet they are also able to help people all over the world.  I’m honored to be working with them, especially with something so easy as pitching in my two cents once in awhile.  So, it is with great pride that I bring you the first installment of:



The Way I See It
by Billy McCall

   I’m not entirely sure when I began to first recognize myself as a sexual being.  I think my religious upbringing encouraged the denial of such an obvious fact.  This idea that we are all sexual beings.  But we are, it’s part of what makes us human.
    As I’ve gotten older I have learned to not only embrace my own sexuality, but to accept that everyone else has their own.  And that sex is all around.  And that it’s fun to think about.  Let me give you an example.
Prepare yourself for an oral invasion!
    I’ve been going to the dentist on a regular basis ever since I was a kid.  I hated it.  It seemed like torture, and this was how my mind got through it.  As a child I would pretend I was a spy, trapped behind enemy lines, and no matter how they tortured me, I’d never talk!  And when I made it through my 30-minute check-up, I walked out proud.
    But then I grew up, moved out, had sex…  And my next trip to the dentist was suddenly very different.  All my concepts of pain and torture and endurance had changed, due in large part to my experimentation with these ideas in the bedroom.  All of a sudden the dentist’s office felt a bit like a role-playing scenario, and the tools all looked like toys.  I no longer felt like doctor and patient, but more like master and slave.  With each command, I slipped further into submission, feeling empowered through my own obedience.
    “Open your mouth.”
    Yes sir.
    “You might feel a sting.”
    Yes sir.
    “You’re doing very well.  Just hold still, it will be over soon.”
    Yes sir.
    And although I don’t have a fetish for dentists, I wonder if I could.  Many people do.  A quick search online brings up scores of people discussing their new braces, or seeking out play partners to act out dental fantasies.  A visit to the dentist takes you directly into a power-play scenario, where one person is in charge, and everyone else in the room follows along.  So I don't think it would take much for me to develop a deep desire to have these acts preformed me.  To become excited by the idea of laying there, enduring discomfort, and doing whatever it is I am told to do.  I am already paying considerable amounts of money, is it really so different from a fetish-specific dungeon?
    Of course, I also wonder about the sex lives of the dentists themselves.  After all, they are sexual beings as well.  In their lives outside of work, do they play out dental fantasies?  Some of them must, I’m sure.
    This is how I now survive my trips to the dentist.  My mind drifts through all these topics, and before I know it, my time is up.  I thank them for the agony they’ve just put me through, then I pay them for their services.  I make an appointment to see them again, and I walk out into the world with a smile on my face.


    If anyone out there would like to contact me, you can get me at iknowbilly@gmail.com.  Take care, and keep it real!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Local IQ - Sex in the Open

photo by Wes Naman, Local IQ
Writer Hannah Reiter of the Local IQ newspaper interviewed us a couple weeks ago.  It's wonderful to share our story with Albuquerque, and the world.  We often learn it's hard to explain "what Self Serve is" when people haven't been into the store.  If you're new to our community - read on...
 
Local IQ - Sex in the open
Unique Albuquerque business works to demystify sexuality and build an inclusive atmosphere that serves the community

By Hannah Reiter
Self Serve is not your traditional adult toy shop. Owners Molly Adler and Matie Fricker have gone to great lengths to ensure local sexual education and pleasure seekers an experience completely different from that which other Albuquerque retailers offer. With an award-winning business model, years of experience and unmatched passion, Adler and Fricker have made a living transforming sexual education and pleasure in Albuquerque over the past five years.

\In a recent interview, and with Valentine’s day right around the corner, Adler and Fricker let Local iQ in on a few of their not-so-dirty little secrets for building a successful business focused on love and sex.

“We loved the idea of creating a space that any adult can walk in and feel safe and comfortable and find resources,” Adler said of her business philosophy. “Across the board, we try to lead with the message that sex is healthy and pleasure is good for you. And having some education around how and with whom you have sex is the best way to ensure that,” Fricker added.

The owners of Self Serve have succeeded in crafting that space. The store’s atmosphere is warm, inviting and very hands-on, and Fricker and Adler are personable, welcoming and exceptionally knowledgeable.

Hailing from Boston with backgrounds in public health and social justice, respectively, Adler and Fricker decided six years ago over a bottle of wine that they wanted to tackle the peaks and pitfalls of owning their own business. At the time, Adler was managing an adult boutique, while Fricker was debating a future in law. “I could go into debt for law school or I could go into debt to start a sex shop,” said Fricker.

Ultimately they decided that owning their own business would allow them the freedom and forum to pursue their passions and make a difference in a community that was lacking a “sex-positive” message. After a year of struggling to secure funding, the two were finally able to make the move to Albuquerque and open shop in 2007.

So why did these two Boston natives choose Albuquerque, of all places, to open an adult boutique? Lots and lots of research. “While there is a lot of conservative history and religious culture,” Fricker noted of Albuquerque, “there is also a very open-minded population and a high density of same-sex households. We found a very clear ‘live-and-let-live’ attitude.”

It’s that tolerant attitude from the community and a unique approach to business that has allowed Self Serve to stay afloat, even in this tough economy. As well as selling adult toys and accessories, Adler and Fricker offer a full-on adult resource center, the core of which is education. Self Serve holds at least two classes a week on everything from how to talk to your kids about sex, to the art of burlesque dancing, to massage techniques for couples and sex for aging people (for a full list of classes offered, visit selfservetoys.com).

Community outreach is also a fundamental piece of the Self Serve business model. “There are two main ways we partner with the community. One is within our neighborhood. We’re active with the Nob Hill business association and Nob Hill Main Street. The other way is through donations to and support of sexual health and wellness in the community,” Adler said, noting that her business does events and fundraisers for such organizations as New Mexico Aids Services, The Rape Crisis Center, Planned Parenthood and the state Department of Health.

Fricker also talks to youth at the New Day Shelter once a month about sexuality and empowerment. While the program is controversial, Fricker explained, “It immediately lowers their risk factors. If you just say to teenagers, ‘Sex shouldn’t hurt,’ it changes everything.”

While Fricker and Adler teach many of the classes at Self Serve themselves, they also import local and national instructors to ensure that their seminars are well-rounded, in-depth and fun. For Valentine’s Day they will host a free chocolate and body treat tasting event. “It can be part of your Valentine’s Day activity,” Adler said. “The store will be open till 9, so grab an early dinner or cocktail, then come in after.”

While some may be intimidated by the idea of walking into the shop for a class or consultation, or to buy adult toys, rest assured that Adler and Fricker have designed an experience meant to comfort the nerves of anyone, whether novice or expert.

“We are very serious about being inclusive and having a space that has resources, products and answers for men and women, straight and gay, transgender, young and old, single and married and divorced. All of the above,” Adler said.