Friday, September 9, 2011

Leather Bear Tails: 24/7 Master/slave Myths

Recently I was at an event and I caught the tail end of the speaker talking about how 24/7 isn’t real because eventually you have to put down the flogger and go to work. I smiled and said nothing; this is a common misunderstanding of the Master/slave 24/7 dynamic. I got to thinking about other very common misconceptions of this and compiled a short list to go over.

1) 24/7 isn’t real because you can’t maintain those roles all of the time, eventually you have to have to leave the house.

There is a difference between a 24/7 scene and a 24/7 relationship. Of course a 24/7 scene is not possible over the long term. But a 24/7 relationship that maintains its core roles and beliefs is more than possible. I do not stop being a Master or a wife or a lesbian because I am at work, getting gas, or working with my horses. It is part of who I am integrally, and just because I am not actively in a scene with my slave doesn’t mean that my slave isn’t serving me. Most service happens outside of a scene anyway. It is really hard to cook dinner while getting flogged, not impossible- just more difficult.

2) All Masters are sadists and all slaves are masochists.

Not all masters are into giving pain, and not all slaves are into receiving pain. In other words you don’t have to be one into s and m to be M/s. Some M/s relationships never have a play or sexual element. These are people that are all about the experience of the service both in the giving and the receiving. Others are very into play and sex but not with a pain component. It tends to be very individual.

3) The slave must be naked and in chains at all times when at home.

Make no mistake, for some households these are absolutely the requirements. But it isn’t always so. Other households have requirements that mean that the slave needs to have the ability to come inside and outside of the house frequently, answer the door for vanilla folk and otherwise use their time and efforts in such a way that clothes are required and chains are not reasonable.

4) Micromanagement is always the norm.

This is the theory that slaves need to be told what to do because in their everyday lives they are unable to make decisions for themselves. That is why Masters are so darn important (insert sarcasm here). However, not all Masters are into micromanagement. In a way micromanagement is its own fetish. It is the receiving of power and sexual gratification from the over management of another person. But it isn’t something that all Masters do or that all slaves enjoy. Not all masters require their slaves to ask permission before going to the bathroom, eating, taking a drink, entering the room, sleeping, or otherwise doing things that we all need to do in a day.

5) All communication is one way from the Master to the slave.

Again, there are households were the slave is expected to receive input only, and their opinion is nether solicited or desired. However, many 24/7 households have a need for the slave to have an opinion and have input on how things could be done. It is the Masters decision whether or not to accept the advice, but the slave is more than welcome and encouraged to give it.

There are many Master/ slave 24/7 relationships that have been successful over the years and continue to be. For a lot of people the concept of accepting either end of the power dynamics for long periods of time is inconceivable, and for them it may well be. BUT that doesn’t mean that just because it isn’t plausible for one person, it isn’t possible other people.

Last week our community experienced a huge loss. Our beloved Teddy has passed. He was a great person with a wonderful laugh, amazing voice, and strong and kind hands. His heart and light will be missed.

If you are looking for power munches, hands on workshops, or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:

If you are interested in an active online community please find:
Group name:
New Mexico Fetlifers

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