You Don't Need Labiaplasty

This is the video that got Self Serve kicked off facebook! Watch and share widely, please! The human body should not be censored.



All labias are beautiful, and you don't need cosmetic surgery. After a video on labiaplasty made thousands of views on youtube, we at Self Serve felt the need to respond.

Vaginoplasty and labiaplasty are sweeping the world. Doctors are making easy money through women's self loathing and ignorance. We need more images of diverse, normal labias and vulvas- not a surgical solution to an imaginary problem. In case you didn't know, there is a whole movement to change the growing medicalization of women's bodies and sexual desire. A sassy, smart and sexy organization called The New View Campaign is encouraging change. They have a whole area of their site dedicated to resources on female genital cosmetic surgery (FGCS).

In 2007 the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) issued a statement saying that most FGCS procedures are not medically indicated, were ethically questionable, and were not standardized, routine or acceptable. The statement concluded, "Women should be informed about the lack of data supporting the efficacy of these procedures and their potential complications, including infection, altered sensation, dyspareunia, adhesions, and scarring." For entire statement see: Vaginal “rejuvenation” and cosmetic vaginal procedures. ACOG Committee Opinion No. 378. Obstetrics and Gynecology, 2007, v.110, p.737–8.

The amazing Form 2 from Jimmy Jane

The Form 2 is the newest, powerful, rechargeable vibrator from Jimmy Jane. This lovely, quiet vibrator is strong, waterproof and has lots of functions! It's become a best seller at Self Serve. If you want a strong, eco-friendly and quiet vibrator- this is a great pick. I especially like how it spins around with the various pulsation functions. Check it out for yourself in this video.

Firefighter's Widow is Sued Because of Gender

A firefighter dies and his wife is sued by his family. The family of Thomas Araguz III, of Wharton, Texas claims the couple was separated. They want to strip her of death benefits because of her transgender status.

We can't say for sure what their relationship was like. We can't know the inner workings of anyone's relationship. But it is horrendous when a mourning family battles over assets, suing a fallen fire fighter's widow.

I can't imagine the pain this family is feeling for the loss of their son. But to negate his marriage after he dies? What do you think?

Studying Sexy New Mamas...

Self Serve is all about the sexual well-being and satisfaction of new mamas. We talk to parents everyday about how tough it is to bring the sexy back after baby. In addition to the significant challenge of added fatigue and stress, changing body image can be an issue. Too often, moms are seen as, or sometimes feel a-sexual or less attractive after giving birth, nursing or taking on the mother role. We want to help moms and their partners feel sexy and embrace changes in a positive, constructive way.

We can always learn more about how new moms feel about sex and their bodies after baby. You can be a part of the research! Researchers from The Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University are conducting an online survey regarding women’s sexual experiences and body image during the postpartum period.

Debby Herbenick, Associate Director for The Center for Sexual Health Promotion details:

For this study, we are recruiting women who have given birth for the first time in the past year (e.g., first time mothers whose baby is one year old or younger). Women who choose to participate in the survey will be asked questions about their birthing experience as well as their body image and sexual behaviors.

The online survey will take approximately 10-15 minutes and upon completion participants will have the opportunity to enter to win one of 50 $20 VISA gift cards.

To learn more about this study and decide whether you want to participate, please visit the following website:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/newmomsurvey

If you have additional questions about the study, please contact debby(at)indiana.edu

So if you're a new mom or have friends who are, check out this survey and contribute to sexual health research!

www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu

They can be Your Lesbian Radio, too...

A loving shout out to Donna and Denise of My Lesbian Radio!

Matie and I had so much fun talking to them on the show last week. It made me feel all mushy and proud to be on an internet radio show with thousands of people all over the country listening. The lesbian diaspora if you will...

Wherever you are, if you have been, are or plan to be a lesbian or if you just love 'em -then download the podcast of MLR or listen live every Wednesday night 9-11 pm EST.

All Aboard the Penetration Station!

I own a sex shop. I love having lots of toys and accessories around the bedroom for a good time. But it's rare that a new sex product is brilliant enough to become an item I use almost every time I do it.

The Penetration Station really just makes me want to yell, "Choo, Choo!" - it's one of my new favorite new sexcessories. The Penetration Station is a set of tethers and neoprene 'handles' that makes more sex positions easier and supports your body during sex. So often we want to have marathon-runner sex when in fact, we are surely not even walking the 5k. It's during the best sex that we tell ourselves we wish we could go for hours, hold that leg up longer, support your partner's body weight more easily, or be flexible enough to get that angle just right. Finally, Sportsheets invented the Penetration Station, which makes all that great sex easier to achieve.

This set up helps support you and your partner, making it a breeze to reach and maintain new and fun sex positions. This lovely set also can be a life saver for those with disabilities.

Click for a demo of how it's assembled. The system is secured around your mattress for support, and four tethers pop out the bottom and top of your mattress as foot and hand loops. I can keep my legs up with less effort, I can lean my feet against the top tethers for support, and pull myself up for deeper angles when everyone's 'hands are full.' One feature I love, too, is that I can tuck all the pieces under the mattress out of view for privacy.

It's rare that products are developed in the sex toy industry that actually solve common challenges in an innovative, smart and affordable way. Sportsheets has done it with the Penetration Station. You may not know its glory by looking at the package, but I'm getting on that train, and I encourage you to hop on, too.

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I was excited to have this review posted on Betty Dodson & Carlin Ross' site dodsonandross.com. They are funny, smart and fabulous. Check out their movies & blog!

More Sex Ed, Not Sex Drugs...

Every day at Self Serve we help women and men with sex and relationship challenges. We put a sex positive spin on peoples' outlooks. We encourage education, trying new activities and honest communication. It's amazing how these sex and relationship skills, skills no one is taught in school, can do wonders for boosting ones' sex life.

But I don't believe the latest brain drug Flibanserin can guarantee the same results.

There’s a lot of controversy surrounding Flibanserin, and it's going for approval at the FDA tomorrow. Look. It’s not that I don’t want to find a magic pill that brings women and men desire. It’s just that I know it’s not that simple. That is why I hope the FDA will vote no on this particular drug.

When the majority of women still don’t understand their own basic sexual anatomy, there are some vital steps missing when we jump to pharmaceutical solutions. That, and 6 months of research on a brain drug that offers maybe "one more sexually satisfying event" per month just isn't enough to convince me.

It's refreshing when medical research states the obvious truth. For example, one 2003 study "emphasizes the [importance of] psychological and social issues that contribute to sexual distress in women and propose that we further examine the distinction between “dysfunction” and “reaction to circumstances.” A stressed, busy, tired working woman may not get off or get turned on at the drop of a hat. Or pants for that matter. Ask any woman and she will probably confirm "circumstances" of her life are relevant to if she's in the mood.

A recent Portuguese study really hits the nail (er, clit?) on the head. The article proposes that “it is possible that in the vast majority of cases in which a clinician would administer a diagnosis of FSAD [Female Sexual Dysfunction], that if more effective stimulation were applied, arousal may not be impaired, and the FSAD diagnosis would not be given.” In laywoman's terms: If her partner could perhaps learn how to better stimulate his ladyfriend, there would be no medical problem in her capacity for pleasure. There are many ways to find effective stimulation without a prescription. She's not broken, people. It's just that no one read the manual.

Feminist sources I respect are mocking those of us against flibanserin, but they're getting it wrong. I think Lisa Cullen summed it up best in describing the disappointing results of the clinical trials.

Hopefully the controversy of unsuccessful drugs for female sexual pleasure will at least raise the topic in our national consciousness. The debate for or against the big business of medicalized sex may get my panties in a bunch, but at least female pleasure is getting some attention!

Awesome new adjustable, rechargable vibrator: G Ki

Check out Matie's Review of the G Ki, the latest in rechargeable vibrator technology.


Available at Self Serve



Available at Self Serve

We are feminist and we love porn

Violet Blue is leading the way for sex-positive feminists that love porn. This weekend a conference in Boston is aiming to stop porn culture. The feminist sexuality educators at Self Serve would rather see porn revolutionized.
http://www.selfservetoys.com/

Sex ed is critical to the under 18 set

When we teach sexuality workshops or visit classes at University of New Mexico I always survey students on their sex ed experience. I ask how many had sex ed in schools. The response ranges from 5% to maybe 25%. These are adults, born in the late eighties, mostly having attended abstinence only sex education.

Then I ask, "How many of you learned something in school sex ed that actually helped you on a date or with an intimate partner later on?" Hands go down and they all laugh. Young people find sex ed today laughable in terms of relevance.

This is probably not a shock to anyone reading this... or breathing. Of course we all know where kids get information about sex- friends, the media, and mostly, the internet.

Of course with all the regulations about who can access sex toys and information, selfservetoys.com is officially 18 plus only. But we find it critical to offer resources to younger folks. This under 18 resource page is very important to us. And the top site is struggling to stay afloat.

Scarleteen has been my favorite under 18 sex ed website since I can remember. The site is fun, hip, down-to-earth and full of reliable information. Within the first paragraph on their homepage, they cover curious topics such as gender identity, the foreskin, female and male anatomy and vaginal discharge. So many things we wonder about daily.

So help this awesome sex website stay strong and kickin'! Donate, volunteer or at least explore Scarleteen for the first time, no matter how grown up you are.