It's a party for your butt!

By Hunter Riley for Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center

Self Serve recently stocked its shelves with a toys that's a great introduction to anal play for men and women, and it’s only $30.

We call it the Disco Booty Party, because it’s pretty much a party for your butt, and it has a flashing color-changing light at the end. Some might find it gimmicky, but it also might help you find the desired hole in the dark.  The small light also warms the toy up slightly, and that's always a nice bonus.

It comes in a frosted purple, hard-plastic design with a matte coating, is 3/4 of an inch wide and 3 inches long. It has a flared base, because anything you put in your butt should have one, and a single-speed and function vibration. The toy has a slight angle and a bulb at the base, which helps your sphincter hold onto it, and it can gently stimulate a prostate. If the wearer is excited and properly lubed and warmed up, the sphincter muscles will contract which keeps the toy in place and the contractions feel great too because they bring blood to the area. 

The vibration can help relax the sphincter and other muscles in the area and will give sensation to the nerve endings in the anus as well as the genital area. It’s easy to operate because it has only one push button for on and off.

Since this toy has a smooth, velvety coating on the surface, this toy should only be shared if it has a condom over it.  It can be cleaned with warm water and a gentle soap.  The toy is phthalate-free.

Other tips for anal play include using lots of lubrication, relaxation and communication, and don’t forget the frontal stimulation! If you are enjoying anal play with a partner it’s important to check in with them before, during and after, to make sure they are comfortable and not in pain.   If anything hurts, you’re not doing it right!  We recommend using lots of lube and don’t forget about yours' or your partners’ sensitive bits in the front. Clitoral stimulation can help relax the other muscles near the genitals, which can make anal play more enjoyable, and same thing goes for a penis. 

If you want to know more about anal pleasure, be sure to sign up for our Backdoor Lovin' class on July 24th. You can sign up here, or you can call us at 505 265 5815 to reserve your spot.

Hunter Riley is a sex educator at Self Serve and also manages SEXed, a sex-education blog on WordPress. You can follow her on Facebook and on Twitter.

5 Reasons for a Prostate Massage | Prostate Cancer: By the Numbers | Prostate Cancer

5 Reasons for a Prostate Massage | Prostate Cancer: By the Numbers | Prostate Cancer

I love that the human body can heal itself and find pleasure at the same time. Two more reasons for men to explore prostate massage: preventing prostate cancer and relieving impotence.

Prostate Pleasure By: Bettie Templeton

Hello Friends of the Prostate!
If you've decided to read this, you're either playing with the prostate already and want to know a little more, or you may be thinking about trying it for the first time. Either way, we hope this information helps you to relax and have some fantastic fun!


The prostate is a small gland tucked below the bladder, and is commonly compared to the size of a walnut (the author who most likely enjoyed a Fancy Nut Assortment amidst an intimate date). The prostate surrounds the urethra (which is why swollen prostates can make one need to pee more frequently) and can be massaged somewhat outside the body but the strongest sensation comes from an internal massage.



Yes, internal...which means its time to start relaxing your rear!
Start with some foreplay by gently rubbing around the anus. Use a smooth, thick lubricant like Maximus or Slippery Stuff Gel. Keep in mind your butt provides no lubrication, so add your own! Start soft and if it feels nice you can always make it a little more vigorous. Think of relaxing the muscles in and around your butt. You might be surprised how much tension you feel. Those muscles help hold us upright all day and are one of the first places we squeeze when we're stressed or nervous. Your butt deserves a relaxing vacation. That's what this is all about.
Once your butt feels sufficiently romanced (which could be a while... be patient and enjoy!), it's time to try some internal fun. Just slide your finger (or a small toy like the Butty plug, the Joy Stick or Nexus Glide) in slowly.



Don't rush things! Breathe deeply and calmly. You may feel a few jumps in tension, especially if you've never done this before, but just remember that you're doing this for fun and for yourself. If it hurts, stop and try massaging yourself a little more and adding some more lube. This shouldn't be painful!
The prostate isn't very far inside your body. Generally speaking it can be found within two to three inches if you press gently towards the front of the body. It might take a moment or two to find, so make sure you do this at a time when you don't have to rush anything. If you are doing this to your partner, you should be searching for a walnut-sized firm bump and always keep talking to your partner to find out how he's feeling. You might know when you find it by a sudden gasp, which is always fun! If you're trying to do this to yourself, look for the same signs but you'll probably know when you've found it.


So now that you've found it, what do you do? Go out for ice cream? I suppose you could, but you may find a gentle massage a little more rewarding. You can always get ice cream, after all.
Exploring your butt and prostate fun may be something for many future encounters or only special occasions - you decide. A simple, gentle, lubricated anal massage may be a new relaxing activity for you and stimulating that prostate may be a whole new way to reach rocking orgasm.
When playing with your butt or that of a friend, remember the three tenets of anal play:

• Relaxation
• Lubrication
• Communication

Your butt does not lie. If something hurts, stop it. If you want smaller, gentler, harder, wetter, bigger or whatever -make sure to share that with your playmates! Most of all remember to have fun.

Explore anal sex toys and lubricants online...

Anal Sex Can Change Your Life...

Matie and I taught the Backdoor Lovers: Intro to Anal Sex class last night. It was so fun. I think it's the beginning of the Prostate Pleasure Revolution :) Yay!

Seriously, it felt good to debunk taboos, empower men and women to explore new territory, and prevent more rampant bad sex. Our society is pretty anal-retentive, and that just needs to change. How many times a day do you squeeze and release your sphincter muscles- as exercise, not just taking care of business? When's the last time you had a rosebud massage?

Well here are some ideas to increase anal pleasure in your world:

There are plenty of enjoyable ways to explore anal sex play. Hands, lubricants, massage oils and toys can all be great ASSets. Follow our top anal sex tips and check out ideas for the best anal sex toys. Anal Sex Tips

• Don’t rush anal sex ever. Wait until your ass is ready, even if you're really, really excited!
  
• Communication is key! Verbal and non-verbal communication is truly important, not just so it feels good, but so that no one gets physically hurt and stays safe. Communicating your needs = safe sex!
• Lubrication is something you must provide. Unlike during vaginal sex, your ass does not provide comfy lubrication. And you certainly need lubrication even more during anal play. The tissue around and in the anus is thin and sensitive. That means if you feel good, happy sensations they are wonderful, but if you feel sensitive to pain it is easy to get hurt. Lubrication prevents tiny cuts and tears from happening, which feels better and reduces the chance for sexually transmitted infections.
• Relaxation is so important. If your anus is tightly, tensely closed for business, nothing and no one is getting in there. We often hold lots of stress right there in our asses. Take a deep breath and relax (then repeat). Deep breathing, taking it slow and relaxing your sphincter muscles will do wonders for your sex life and your anxiety!
• Massage is a great way to start. Just a lovely, little rosebud massage on the anus will feel fantabulous for most people. Use a condom-safe lubricant or your mouth! Dental Dams are recommended for safer sex! Try massaging his perineum, too. Pressure up behind the balls will stimulate his prostate gland (P Spot) internally.
  
• Anal sex does not have to involve a penis going inside an ass. Remember it's way more comfortable and easy for beginners to enjoy fingers, anal sex toys, massage or butt plugs first. Make sure when you talk about anal sex, all parties involved know whether you plan to enjoy toys, a penis, a finger or whatever.
• For many people, insertion is a BIG deal. Wait until the ass invites you in! Do not push into the anus, but allow your partner to fall onto your finger, cock or toy. Go slow and the reward is great!
  
• Safer sex is more fun and guilt-free for everyone! Prevent spreading bacteria with gloves or finger cots. Go down with less risk of Hepatitis with dental dams. Use condoms on guy parts and dildos before inserting anywhere else. And remember, lubricant helps your latex supplies feel super silky and smooth.
  
• Good anal sex positions include: doggy style, any position when receptive partner is on his or her back = more relaxed muscles
• Great toys include: For a slim and long dildo that's strap-on friendly, The Mistress Vibe Kit; For a big Prostate stimulating curve; For graduated bumps, the Pro Touch or Pi; Beginner Butt Plugs, The Buddy or Ace Plug
• Make sure any anal sex toy you use has a flared base! If you stick little, mini sex toys into someone's ass you risk not getting it back! We hear stories all the time (unfortunately) about people going to the emergency room for a sex toy retrieval. Good anal sex toys have something to hold onto or a flared base that won't get sucked into a happy tush.
• Avoid numbing creams and harmful de-sensitizing gels. When you cut off your body's ability to tell you something is wrong, you put yourself at risk for harm or injury. Plus you miss out on all the good sensations!