Friday, December 10, 2010

Understanding Master/ slave Power Exchange Basics

Every relationship has a basis in power exchange. In all relationships there is someone who holds power, and someone who gives up power. In vanilla relationships (non BDSM or Leather relationships) the power exchange either flows back and forth throughout the day from person to person, or the couple starts to fight for power. Who makes the financial decisions? How are the kids going to be raised? Who initiates and/or refuses sex? All of these issues can become a power exchange or a power struggle, and in each situation when there is a disagreement and no common ground, there is one partner whose preferences will take priority. At this point one person walks away empowered, and one person walks away dis-empowered.

In households that have Master/slave dynamic, there is a pre-agreed upon understanding that one person reserves the right to have the final say on all matters. So although the slave may have a right to voice an opinion, it is the Masters choice as to whether or not to take that into consideration. Although everyday decisions that all couples are faced with are often directed by the Master as in finances, kids, sex ect… There may be things that the Master has no interest in directing, or there may be other things that the Master needs that are unique to them.

Some Masters have multiple rules and protocols that must be obeyed to the letter. slaves have to ask permission to go to the bathroom, have no access to finances, are not allowed on furniture, are required to wear or carry certain adornments at all times, walk, stand, or enter a room a certain way, and not allowed to speak until spoken to. Other Masters don’t have as many requirements; they may even prefer to do the driving, cooking, and the opening of doors for the slave.

The point being that there is a Master out there for all levels of power exchange~ from someone who wants all their decisions made for them, to someone who wants to have a general direction overlay their life, but wants more control over the details, there is also a Master out there for them. Having an understanding of what a person truly needs and desires are the keys to a successful M/s relationship. Masters that require more or less control then a slave can give are both recipes for an unfulfilled relationship on both ends.

However, M/s relationships that are balanced on both ends are very harmonious and fulfilling, for the most part the trust that is built around decision making means that the concerns that can strain any couple are generally taken care of before hand, leaving room for other things. Like visiting Self Serve!

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