Friday, November 25, 2011

Leather Bear Tails: Master Monster

Identifying as a Master is inherently emotionally stunting. It can be very difficult to remain centered and balanced when those people around you and closest to you are telling you what a God you are, and a badass, and jumping to do your every bidding. And why should you strive for growth if you are surrounded by those whose very nature is to make you feel empowered and like every decision made is the unquestionable right one. It is hard not to start flashing your naked cooter to the press, or plan a 10 million dollar wedding when you have a world full of people whose only job is to say yes.

If the Master has a slave that consistently builds their ego, and is forbidden to say no in any way, this can literally create a monster, maybe not intentionally, but it does happen. This can happen when the replacing of insecurities with the feeling of empowerment is not achieved by anything that the Master is actively changing or doing. Instead it is created by the masking of those insecurities in a web of the slave’s responsibilities, as well as maintaining a false sense of intellectual and emotional superiority by limiting the information that the Master will allow to be given to them.

There are many, many, many, (did I say many) resources out there that talk endlessly about the unlimited power of the Master. They go on and on about the ability for the Master to rule and dominate and control. With extended scenes about how the Master takes that power, and molds it. These resources play on the Master’s insecurities and shortcomings while simultaneously giving them an out for any type of behavior because after all they are the Master.

Don’t have a job, don’t need one, it is the slave’s requirement to support the household. Want to put the slave in bondage that cuts off the circulation, sure, the Master doesn’t actually need skill, the slave just needs to tolerate what is being done to them and be grateful for it. Want to have unprotected sex with as many people as possible, it is the slave’s job to deal with the consequences, both emotional and physical, and be happy to do it, quietly, so as not to disturb the Masters sleep. Masters angry, it’s the slave’s job to take the brunt of that, in any situation, because slaves aren’t really people- they are owned objects, like punching bags, or toasters. Oh yea and how about how slaves are just people that need to be forced into the situation, after all, they don’t know their true potential until the Master makes then see it through questionably consensual beatings and sex. But in the end they will be sooo very grateful that you, the Master, showed them their true selves…..

Then at the very bottom, if it exists at all and in much smaller print, there is a very limited section on responsibility and accountability. Because you don’t want to get in the way of the fantasy to much, it will kill the boner.

I don’t mind ( well I do really) all of this out there, what I do mind more then anything is the type of real time people it creates. People that don’t have boundaries are insufferable, they are egomaniacs that we all have had to deal with that are not only dangerous (yes in real time) but also are very socially inappropriate. Having no boundaries creates a sense of entitlement, so basics like not touching others toys, not touching others subs, not intruding into a scene, and being sure not to monopolize the conversation as well as new people do not apply to them.

That is why boundaries are important, to everybody.

Being a Master doesn’t mean that that you are done growing or that you have achieved some pinnacle of enlightenment that allows you to always be right. It also doesn’t mean that your skills can’t be learned or improved upon.

I may not like it when I screw up and my slave calls me on it, but I do know that if she is saying it, I had better listen. For me, being a powerful Master isn’t about limiting what I hear or know, it is about admitting that I have a lot of room to grow, and that sometimes it is really important for me to hear the hard stuff. If I don’t allow this I will never get better, stronger or more skilled.

So I am putting out there a challenge to all Masters:

When was the last time your slave taught you something?

When was the last time you asked them to?

If you are looking for play parties, power munches, or hands on workshops in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:

If you are interested in an active online community please find:

Group name:

New Mexico Fetlifers

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