Last Minute Valentine's Ideas!

Last Minute Valentine's Gifts 

Act like you planned it all along!

1. Make a dinner date for the weekend after Valentine's Day (It falls on a weeknight after all)
2. Get him a Tenga Flip Hole
3. Cook a surprise dinner, or get your favorite take out and save time for lovin'
4. Make custom date coupons
5. Invest in a We Vibe 3 -this couple's sex toy is fun for everyone!
6. Hire a babysitter when your partner’s not expecting it
7. Make a mix of your songs
8. Get her a new vibrator
9. Give a massage with a romantic massage oil candle
10. Make a sexy crossword puzzle
11. Oral sex is always a great last minute gift idea
12. Make out for more than 2 minutes... seriously
13. Commit to doing any of these ideas not on Valentine’s Day in a few days, a week or a month from now.  It will be even more beautiful when it's spontaneous…

Albuquerque Events and 
Valentine's Date Ideas

FEBRUARY 13

Still no Valentine's gift? Head to Papers and get supplies to craft your own personal Valentine.  Some of the best gifts are hand made!  And they have hella yummy caramels, too.

FEBRUARY 14

GetEqual NM Valentine's Day Rally for Equal Rights
Fight for same-sex marriage equality in New Mexico!
Marriage Applications @ 10:30am in ABQ 

Albuquerque Rally is @ 11:30am, Civic Plaza
Santa Fe Rally is @ 2:00pm, the Roundhouse

Free Anonymous HIV Testing at Self Serve!

First Nations Community Health Source is providing FREE on-site mobile HIV testing at our shop.  Get tested and know your status. They also have a massage therapy special available right now - details online!

Self Serve Chocolate and Body Treat Tasting
We'll provide free chocolate samples, a chocolate fountain and body treats to sample during your Valentine's Day shopping.  This Valentine's Day, explore sensual ideas, learn new bedroom techniques or pick up a new game or toy.  Free, 5-9 pm, 3904b Central Ave SE in Upper Nob Hill 

Lip Service: a Dirty Zine Reading w/Annah Anti Palindrome & On a Clear Day

ABQ Zine Fest presents another dirty, DIRTY zine reading!

Don't let Valentine's Day get you down! Spend it with us and a sh*t-load of dirty words turned into filthy stories! Bring your lover(s) too . . . $5-$15 sliding scale, 7-9:30 pm at Winning Coffee, 111 Harvard SE

Larry's Hats in Nob Hill
Offering wine, a vintage jewelry sale and a free yacht cap with every purchase!

FEBRUARY 16

 

Celebrate National Condom Week at First Nations Community Healthsource!  HIV 101 info session, with some light snacks and drinks 12-2 pm. Free HIV testing available before and after the event.  Let someone know you want to take the relationship to the next level - get tested!

FEBRUARY 17

Massage Techniques for Couples
This class at Self Serve is an introduction to massage techniques you can use at home to impress (and relax) the one(s) you love.  Bring a partner for this hands-on, clothed class. 8:30 pm, $28 /pair

 

FEBRUARY 18

Yoga and Tantra: An Experiential Journey into Self Love

Join Avery Kalapa and Dr. Rasa Lila for a delicious afternoon workshop, geared for anyone interested in deepening their felt experience of love and appreciation.  We will explore yoga asana, Tantra techniques, and sacred sound to create a safe, yet profound transformational sensual journey. 1 pm - 5:30 pm  /   |  High Desert Yoga, 4600 Copper Avenue NE

Alternative Valentine's Guide for ABQ

Why have a boring Valentine's Day?  Come to think of it, why have a boring month?  There are lots of creative Valentine's Date ideas in our guide, and plenty of fun events for singles to live it up.  Not feeling creative?  Now you have no excuse!  Do something fun.  Start today.

Self Serve's

Alternative Valentine's Guide for ABQ

All Month

Rt 66 Pin Ups ~ With every purchase in February:

• a gift card for a free boudoir session with Kevin's Photography
• 20% off cut, color, or style by Jessica at Dollface Salon
• 10% off your next purchase from 66 Pin-Ups

Betty's Bath & Day Spa Specials

Give yourself the gift of indulgence or book a private hot tub

Post your personal ad already
Just about everyone's doing it.  Not sure where to go?  Locally, try the Alibi, checkout Fetlife for something different, or post to the biggies and start shopping. 

Anti Valentine's Day Writing Contest

Enter the first-annual Bookworks Anti-Valentine's Day Contest and share your misery with the world! Submit your best worst date story to events@bkwrks.com (under 250 words, please) by Feb. 10. Three (un)lucky submitters - the saddest, most horrifying, or most heinous stories, as decided by Bookworks staff - will win some great prizes.

FEBRUARY 3
 
Self Serve Wine and Chocolate Tasting
6-8 pm, rsvp required, 21+

Local IQ Singles Mixer 6-8 pm swanky, interactive single's party at Q Bar

The Octopus and the Fox 1 Year Anniversary Party
6-10 pm, Celebrate 1 year with art and cupcakes!

FEBRUARY 8

Self Serve Intro to Couples' Toys
Learn about ways to increase intimacy, create newness and provide more pleasure for both parties. 7:30 pm, Free, at Self Serve, 3904b Central SE, Upper Nob Hill

FEBRUARY 10-11

6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase
Friday & Saturday, 8 pm at the KiMo Theatre, 18+
Tickets $14-$20, available now online or at the Kimo Box Office.
Buy early, these shows WILL SELL OUT

FEBRUARY 11
 
Burlesque, Puppetry & Performance Classes 
at the Southwest Burlesque Showcase
8 different classes throughout the day!  Details online


Adults Only Zoo Tours
Indulge your animal instincts with special tours about the exotic, erotic and often curious romantic rituals of animals. 2 pm, $10 at the gate


Stand Up Comedy at the Guild

10:30 pm Local comedians Matt Peterson, Rusty Rutherford, James Morrow, Joe Quesada and Roger Peterson will be tag teaming the mic for our humor sensory good times!

FEBRUARY 12

Local Love Bazaar 1-4 pm
Buy local for V Day!
at 5321 Acoma Rd. SE (off San Mateo between Central & Zuni)

FEBRUARY 13
Still no Valentine's gift? Head to Papers and get supplies to craft your own personal Valentine.  Some of the best gifts are hand made!  And they have hella yummy caramels, too.


FEBRUARY 14

GetEqual NM Valentine's Day Rally for Equal Rights
Fight for same-sex marriage equality in New Mexico!
Marriage Applications @ 10:30am in ABQ 

Albuquerque Rally is @ 11:30am, Civic Plaza
Santa Fe Rally is @ 2:00pm, the Roundhouse

Free Anonymous HIV Testing at Self Serve!

First Nations Community Health Source is providing FREE on-site mobile HIV testing at our shop.  Get tested and know your status. They also have a massage therapy special available right now - details online!

Self Serve Chocolate and Body Treat Tasting
We'll provide free chocolate samples, a chocolate fountain and body treats to sample during your Valentine's Day shopping.  This Valentine's Day, explore sensual ideas, learn new bedroom techniques or pick up a new game or toy.  Free, 5-9 pm, 3904b Central Ave SE in Upper Nob Hill  


Lip Service: a Dirty Zine Reading w/Annah Anti Palindrome & On a Clear Day
ABQ Zine Fest presents another dirty, DIRTY zine reading!
Don't let Valentine's Day get you down! Spend it with us and a sh*t-load of dirty words turned into filthy stories! Bring your lover(s) too . . . $5-$15 sliding scale, 7-9:30 pm at Winning Coffee, 111 Harvard SE

Larry's Hats in Nob Hill
Offering wine, a vintage jewelry sale and a free yacht cap with every purchase!



FEBRUARY 17

Massage Techniques for Couples
This class at Self Serve is an introduction to massage techniques you can use at home to impress (and relax) the one(s) you love.  Bring a partner for this hands-on, clothed class. 8:30 pm, $28/pair
 

FEBRUARY 18




Yoga and Tantra: An Experiential Journey into Self Love
Join Avery Kalapa and Dr. Rasa Lila for a delicious afternoon workshop, geared for anyone interested in deepening their felt experience of love and appreciation.  We will explore yoga asana, Tantra techniques, and sacred sound to create a safe, yet profound transformational sensual journey. 1 pm - 5:30 pm $45/50 |  High Desert Yoga, 4600 Copper Avenue NE

Animal Humane's Tail Date Mixer
1 pm at the Barley Room
a club for dog lovers to meet and socialize

FEBRUARY 18-19

Vagina Monologues at UNM
Saturday, Feb. 18th at 7:00PM
Sunday, Feb. 19th at 2:00PM
Theatre X, in the basement of Popejoy Hall



FEBRUARY 23

Lesbian Sex Secrets for Guys 
Have you ever wondered what lesbians do in bed? Join Matie, one of Self Serve’s owners for an in-depth, no holds barred discussion on female pleasure. We’ll discuss the 12 secrets they never taught you in sex ed to rock her world.  $15 at Self Serve, 3904 Central Ave SE in Upper Nob Hill

Self Serve is 5 Years Old Today!

We celebrate our 5th anniversary this month, and we are grateful.

5 years ago today we opened the doors at Self Serve, became a part of Albuquerque's cultural landscape, and became a part of your lives.  We were two women who just moved from Boston, not knowing much about Burque, and we took a chance on a friendly, new city for our little sexuality resource center.

Thanks for making us a part of your story.  While we may have had visits from Zoning or media all too interested in porn, we also have been growing a space where you come and ask us questions and share your stories with us.  You trust us and take steps to improve your relationships.  You have shared your falling in love and breaking up tales.  We have helped you buy your first vibrator.  We have helped you come out... as queer, bi, poly or trans.  You have asked for help.  We have helped you have better sex. Or we've helped you try again after the divorce or being widowed.  We knew you before the baby or before you got married.  We helped you gain back confidence after the positive STI test.  We helped you love your body more - as is.  We told you it's ok.

Thank you.  Thanks for letting us in, and taking those tough steps, for trusting us and yourself.  Sexuality, our desires, our identities can be confusing, challenging and surprising at times.  They are integral parts of our lives, and we're glad we can help you navigate.  We hope to keep spreading the love for years to come.

We feel so honored to be a part of this community - both in the Duke city and online.  Thanks for an amazing first 5 years.

Love,
Molly and Matie

p.s. we'll be celebrating with events throughout the month!

Thursday, January 12  7:30 pm
Sex Toy Story Night: A night of over-sharing, laughter and camaraderie
Share your stories of self love, bloopers, embarrassments and triumphs. Prizes for Best & Worst Sex Toy Stories!  $5

Saturday, January 21 
Celebrate 5 years of Self Serve at our Open House Birthday Celebration!
Giveaways & Specials all day! Games & Fun 5-9 pm!

Monday, January 30
The Self Serve community is spreading the love around ABQ
–Details to follow!

Pride Events in ABQ!

Happy Pride Month!

We hope to see your beautiful faces celebrating who you are and being a part of our wonderful LGBTQA community!

Addendum!  Leave it to our Weekly Alibi to list even more great events throughout June.  Check out their 
Pride Guide 2011...

 and just look at this beautiful image.  look at it.

Youth in Transition Supply Drive! Help homeless & at risk youth with a donation.  Bring the following items to Self Serve in June and you could win a $50 gift card: Socks (new or gently used) Flip Flops and Sandals Sunscreen Sunglasses Bring in any (or many!) of these items to Self Serve and you'll get entered to win a $50 gift card.  The more you donate, the more chances to win!  About Youth in Transition: Building a Foundation for a brighter future for homeless and at risk youth and young adults by providing outreach, case management, referrals, crisis intervention and advocacy.  YIT works with “throwaways”, rejected by parents or other service providers, runaways, outcasts, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, those with mental health issues, sexually physically or emotionally abused, and  escaping dysfunctional families where substance abuse, violence, neglect are the norm.  Pride month is about community, so help those in need this June. We do not judge them but we do hold them responsible for their present actions while guiding them and showing them alternatives.  If you or someone you know needs services from YIT please contact: (505) 315-4664 If you would like more information about our agency, or would like to donate or help please contact: (505) 440-3402

Albuquerque LGBT Pride Events ABQ Pride is this week! Wednesday, June 8 Alibi's Pre-Pride Glam Dance Party Pre-Pride Glam Dance Party!  Casa Esencia Wed, June 8, 7 p.m. to midnight $10, 21+ The Alibi’s Group Hug is teaming up with Albuquerque Pride for a fabulous affair, starring: DJ Nicolatron DJ Tahnee DJ Mello and the Alibi’s own music editor, DJ Cassyle! They’ll spin glam rock, disco and electro all night long. Plus, a drag show and live entertainment by La Jaula early on in the evening Free appetizers from Standard Diner and Rodeo Grill Scavenger hunt! Unearth VIP tickets to pride and sexy goodie bags from Self Serve! In attendance: From the United Court of the Sandias Empress Bunnie Fluffy Cruse and Emperor Papi Chulo New Mexico Pride Title Holders Mister New Mexico Pride Rocco Steele Ms. New Mexico Pride Tiffany Mariah Di Marco Miss New Mexico Pride LaRhya Daniels Mr. New Mexico Pride Raydon Hawk Thursday, June 9 Candlelight Vigil 7 pm gathering, 8 pm vigil Remembering our past, Celebrating our Diversity, Standing together in unity, Friday, June 10 Effex White Party 9 pm Saturday, June 11 10:00 am Party with Self Serve and watch the Parade Join Self Serve for the most fun pride parade watching party on Central!  Come set up your lawn chair, bring sunscreen, water and lots of OUT energy!  We'll have a party in the parking lot and everyone is welcome.  Park on side streets North or South of Central early!  11:30 am - 9 pm Pridefest at Expo NM Come visit our booth at the fairgrounds.  The shop and booth will have plenty of rainbow pride gear to show your pride all year long.  This year’s event event features  Main Stage Entertainment, Dance Tent, Children’s Area, 100 vendors, Car Show, Beer Garden, Interfaith Space and Poetry Slam. more details at www.abqpride.com Join us for Tribal Splash Saturday, June 11th 9 pm - 2 am at the Radisson Hotel & Water Park 2500 Carlisle NE $50  for the most fun you'll have all year! *Limited Tickets will be available at Self Serve later today!*

Classes & Events at Self Serve

Click to sign up!                                                        Strap-on Sex 101 Wednesday, June 15 Feel the power & hands-free potential of strapping it on. We'll cover supplies, logistics, positions, toys & more. Whether you think all that equipment is daunting, or just want to update your knowledge, you'll learn lots in a safe, fun space. A perfect class for dykes, lesbians, transfolk, women, interested bend-over-boyfriends and partners. $15/person 7:30 PM - 9:30 PM Backdoor Lovers: Intro to Anal Pleasure  Thursday,  June 16 7:30 pm $15 Anal sex is one of the last taboos for many adults. Had a negative experience before? Learning new techniques could make anal play your new favorite activity.  It should never hurt, and despite the stereotypes, it is for everyone.  We'll provide techniques on relaxation, great anal-safe toys, lubricant options, an intro to the prostate and bust myths around your butt. Trans Sex Toys 101 Fundraiser Tuesday, June 21 7:30 pm Shop for a cause! 10% of all tonight’s sales get donated to the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico. Learn about toys & techniques for transgender folks and partners. Refreshments will be served. Free to attend, RSVP suggested. We'll cover: Getting in the Mood Transgender Affirming Communication Safer Sex for All bodies Packers & Strap-ons Dilators, Dildos & Vibrators Empowered Transgender Porn And more... Check out the event on facebook, too Pre-registration is always recommended!  We have limited space, and many classes sell out. If there are not minimum advanced sign-ups, some events may be canceled.

February 22nd: Learn to Get Naked Shamelessly

At Self Serve we talk about pleasure and sex positive empowerment a lot.  Author and Sexuality Educator Pamela Madsen says the biggest obstacle to getting there is body shame.  She points out, "Once we can face our own bodies and accept the beauty of our form in whatever configuration we are in - we can then begin to connect our emotional self to our physical self which is an important step to living a whole life."

It's a big task and a lifelong journey for many people.  We are so excited that Pamela is coming to Albuquerque next week, and bringing her workshop to Self Serve.  She writes and teaches about loving your body as the first step to sexual bliss.  If you are not fully present, how can you maximize pleasure and truly connect with others?  If you can't feel sexy looking in the mirror, how can you rock a strip tease for your lover?  It's all interconnected, and we could all use some help getting there.

Pamela's new book has just been released, SHAMELESS: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure…and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner.  Join us for a workshop that can help you, too, get naked and love yourself.  You deserve it.  If you're not in Albuquerque, you can still order the book, check out her book tour, and learn on Pamela's blog.

ABQ V Day Events Guide 2011

Every Valentine's Day, Self Serve shares ideas for a fun and creative Valentine's Day*.  We've got great ideas for New Mexico couples, happily single folk, friends that are sick of the hype and new lovers alike.

Feel free to add more ideas in the comments below!
To get more sex tips, Albuquerque events and discounts, join the Self Serve email list.

1. Learn random stuff at Ignite 9
2. Surprise someone with a love note published in the Alibi (due February 2nd at noon!)
3. Attend the 5th Annual SW Burlesque Showcase
4. Take surprisingly sexy Biopark tours Birds & the Beasts and Love Bugs at the zoo
5. Eat your heart out at Jennifer James 101 or Seasons, both offering unique theme dinners
6. Explora with someone you love
7. Enjoy free decadence at the Self Serve Wine & Chocolate Tasting (RSVP to get in!)
8. Make zines at "Screw You, Valentine's Day" night at Cellar Door Gifts and Gallery
9. Sadly, Seventh Goddess is closing... get beautiful lingerie and sexy gifts now on sale
10. See NM Gay Men's Chorus in a Cabaret: It's Just Love, What's Everyone So Scared Of?
11. Give Blood & get your heart health screening at a YWCA Sharing the Love health fair. 
12. Enjoy desserts, music and entertainment at Feast of Fools in Santa Fe: Love in 3 Rings!
13. Try something new in bed, and take your self or your sweetie to Self Serve.
14. Single? Dreaming of some fantasy date night? Give yourself that gift.  Treat yourself to a hot tub, a massage, maybe some sensual dessert and some self-love.  You deserve it.

*Keep in mind events above have various dates, so plan ahead!

Transgender Day of Remembrance & Events

Every year on November 20th, people around the world remember those killed due to hatred and ignorance.  In our binary and sometimes tragically hateful world, transgender people are murdered simply for being who they are.  Transgender Day of Remembrance is an important time to remember these victims.  It's also a time to raise awareness about transgender issues and celebrate peoples' lives.

A recent op-ed in the Weekly Alibi discusses the significance of the Transgender Day of Remembrance and lists events in Albuquerque this week.  

If you don't know much about gender identity and transgender peoples' experiences, you have an opportunity to attend an awareness panel Friday, Nov. 19 from 6 to 7:30 p.m. at the Metropolitan Community Church of Albuquerque, 1103 Texas Street NE.

You can also learn from our sex ed links online.

How do you get the sex or relationship you want?

You talk about it. Helping people speak up about their relationship needs is one of the number one topics at Self Serve.

It's pretty amazing when you think about it: sometimes all you need to do is tell someone. But that is no simple task. There is so much shame, guilt, fear, and confusion wrapped up in our deepest sexual needs and fantasies. So many of us have fantasies and needs that are kept secret for years and years. We worry our partner will think we're crazy. He'll leave me. She'll mock me. He never would think of doing [xyz].

You'd be surprised.

Your partner, if they respect and truly care about you, wants to know the real you. They want to sincerely help you feel good. They want to support you living the life you want. And that includes what may seem like minor sexual curiosities or new fantasies. Whether you're curious about a role play involving a cop and robber arrest or just haven't used a vibrator before - it's okay. You are not the only one, and there's no shame in wanting to be more creative, play dress up or play with new toys. As long as your activities are safe, sane and consensual - it's okay.

You're never going to get the sex you want if you can't share with someone what that is. For those of us that are not living a leather lifestyle or active in a BDSM community, serious negotiation around sexual activities is not commonplace. But everyone can learn a lot from years of community activism and standards for creating fantasies in reality.

It takes some work to shift from the-same-sex-you've-been-having-for-years to something new. But that work can be fun and the communication you do to get there will enhance the trust and intimacy of that relationship.

Jay Wiseman, who wrote SM 101, will be teaching Negotiation as Foreplay at our shop September 21st. I am so excited to host this workshop. Many people, whether single, monogamous, poly, married and/or dating, are constantly asking us how to incorporate a new sex activity or keep it hot after years in a relationship or maybe after two weeks. This class is exactly what many of us need- a fun way to communicate about those new fantasies. I love that Jay calls himself a "negotiation fetishist." It may be nerdy, but getting to know the fantasies, boundaries and secrets of a play partner or lover are key to enjoying each other fully.

The Pornotopia Community

It's pretty amazing how much work it is to put on a porn festival. The 3rd Annual Pornotopia Erotic Film Festival takes place in nine days according to the countdown clock on our website, and I continue to be grateful for all the individuals and organizations making Pornotopia 2009 possible.

Tickets are about to be printed, Pornotopia T-shirts are being designed, flyers are being distributed, sponsors are preparing their screen ads, all so we can enjoy a unique weekend of excellent porn on the big screen. It truly takes a village to produce a one-of-a-kind film festival. I love that our committee of volunteers includes married couples, LGBT women and men, kinksters, swingers, and people of various ages, ethnicities and backgrounds. A cross-section of sexual preferences and desires all unified in pursuing good porn and a sex-positive community.

I laugh and think of a sticker I saw yesterday on a presumably conservative car bumper: "Freedom is Not Free." I agree. Your right to go see porn on the screen of the last independent cinema in Albuquerque is hard work. More than thirty volunteers have watched good and bad porn and argued about its merit for the Pornotopia audience. The brave folks at the Guild Cinema join us at Self Serve in risking all sorts of silly zoning violations to exercise our first amendment rights. A UNM class is studying the politics of pornography, attending the festival, and even writing papers on feminist porn. The size-positive group Brickhouse Betties, which started at Self Serve, raised over $250 in support of the festival at the Curvy Carnival. Eight core volunteers have been strategizing for months on everything from showcase selections to printing and marketing. The ACLU works tirelessly to defend our constitutional rights. The staff of Self Serve and event volunteers do all sorts of organizing and coordinating with sponsors, filmmakers, vendors,and community members. Award-winning sex toy manufacturers are donating raffle items worth hundreds of dollars for our Sexy Silent Auction. Most of our featured filmmakers are donating their films and charging no rental fees. Members of Fetlife are donating time and money to help bring feminist pornographer, writer, and sex educator Tristan Taormino to Albuquerque. Local businesses support the film festival with their already-limited funds. Superstar performers Saywut, September Smith, Burlesque Noir, Gender Offenders, Eve and others are donating their time to put on spectacular live shows at Vintage & Vaudeville.



The freedom to see porn is certainly not free, and Matie and I are ever so grateful for the liberated, sexy, proud people of New Mexico exercising their right to enjoy Pornotopia. There are only a handful of erotic film festivals in the country, and we know why. It's not easy. But the people of Albuquerque have a special opportunity to take a deep breath, giggle or smile, and sit down to watch indie porn with complete strangers in nine days. In our too-often sexually repressed society, this is one freedom you don't get to exercise everyday.

If you are in the Albuquerque area and wish to join us for an exciting weekend, check all the details and film schedule online. Tickets will be available starting this weekend at Self Serve. Don't miss our kick off party November 5th, 6 pm at Self Serve. We'll celebrate indie porn, drink locally-brewed Marble beer, introduce the sexy silent auction and have a whole lot of fun. You must RSVP to attend- so sign up now!