Sunday, August 22, 2010

Who do you have sex with?

Who do you have sex with?

Many of us choose one person at a time to mate with. Some of us will jump on anything that holds still long enough. I fall somewhere in between. Not being an advocate of cheating, I try to be completely open and honest with my sexual partners and not expose them to physical or emotional danger as a result of their relationship with me. I am fortunate to have been with many deliciously skilled, interesting men and women in my life, but the one I’ve chose to be my mate… my life partner… my husband, tops the list in every way. I fully realize how lucky I am.

Hub (that will be his pseudonym here, I think) loves me, takes care of me, makes me feel safe. He also is nicely hung, has a great ass, can lick his eyebrows and makes me cum three times a night. And he lets me date other people. Now if I were to fall in love with someone else, that would hurt his feelings. But chatting online, exchanging naughty emails, and even physical encounters are fine with him as long as they make me happy and horny. After all, who reaps the benefits of that? He does, and in a big way. Since we’ve opened our relationship in this way, I’ve been fascinated by the people who have pursued me (and it is the pursuit that excites me most). There are plenty of people who just want to email me a picture of their genitals then have me talk dirty while they masturbate. Most of the time, this bores me. 

There are some who immediately want to meet me in person and will settle for nothing else. They make me nervous. Personally, I like a little long distance foreplay before I feel safe enough to get in a room with someone.  I guess I want there to be some kind of relationship, even if it is an online one that we both know might be based on lies. After all, you can be whoever you want to be on the internet and it is who people choose to be that interests me most. If you could re-invent yourself entirely, what pictures would you display? What name would you choose? How much of your real self would you allow to come through?

Personally, I can’t seem to help being mostly myself, even in an online relationship. As a woman living in a world fraught with peril, I try to be careful not to give out identifying information until I feel I know someone well. But even when carrying on a casual conversation or sexual encounter via chat, if I’m not myself while it’s happening I have trouble feeling anything and for me, sex without emotion,  isn’t sex worth having.

What about you? Who do you share yourself with?

1 comment:

Molly said...

I totally appreciate the idea of letting go and living a fantasy. That can the perfect release for someone even if they are in a monogamous relationship. Use role playing to be whomever you want to be. Act out, talk dirty, and it will surely turn on your partner. Facing scary fantasies- of dominance or submission for example- can be scary in a positive way if enacted in a safe, comfy context.