Thursday, March 10, 2011

How to Keep your Sex Life Sizzling

Read our interview, some accessible sex tips and grab a coupon code below...

CoupleDon’t worry—we asked!  To find out everything from the latest sex toys to how to have a long-lasting sex life, we got in touch with Molly Adler, sexuality educator and co-owner of Albuquerque’s Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center, offering high-end, safe sex toys.  Shop them online at

Suburban Woman: How can I feel more excited and ready for intercourse?

Molly Adler: An easy way to make any sexual activity more pleasurable is to simply add lube!  Many women experience discomfort during intercourse because of vaginal dryness, which can be caused by hormone levels, prescription drugs, anti-histamines, pregnancy, menopause, chemotherapy and a whole lot of other normal situations.  Just because you’re “turned on” doesn’t guarantee the natural lubrication will flow.  It’s the 21st century, and there’s no need to “make your own” anymore!  Look for lubricants without glycerin.  It’s a sugar and cheap filler that can lead to stickiness and yeast infections.  No thanks!

SW: What’s the best way and time to raise delicate sex issues with your partner?

Molly: So many of us have fantasies and needs that are kept secret for years.  We worry our partner will think we’re crazy… he’ll leave me… she’ll never try that.  You’d be surprised!  Your partner wants to know the real you.  They want to help you feel good!  Whether you’re curious about role playing, involving a cop and robber arrest, or just want to talk about increasing pleasure, it’s okay.

It’s important to start the conversation in a safe place, where the pressure of performance isn’t right in front of you.  Don’t wait until you’re about to jump in bed!  Talk during a quiet breakfast or on a walk in the neighborhood.  Explain that you need your partner to listen and want the lines of communication to be open.  Make sure to touch and make eye contact.  Follow up later and set aside time to try that new activity.

SW: What are some ways to keep the spark going during a busy day?

Molly: As busy women, we are over-committed and stressed out.  It's hard to remember or make time for sexy talk or romantic moments when we're rushing around all day.  Here are a few ways to create little sexy moments throughout even the busiest week for you and your partner.
  • Write a love note and put it in the lunch bag or briefcase.
  • Tell your partner what you want to do later with a dry erase pen on the bathroom mirror.
  • Underline your favorite parts of an erotica book.  Read sections out loud to each other later.
  • Kiss for at least 10 seconds once a day.  You'll be surprised how long and luxurious 10 seconds can feel!
  • Create a code word for romantic time and use it freely in public.  For example, "I'd love to meet up with Mr. Jones later tonight..."
  • Plan two date nights and take turns planning the details.
  • Pass each other naughty notes during lunch at a restaurant, a meeting or family gathering.  Just don't get caught!
    SW: How can you have an amazing, long-lasting sex life with your partner?Rose

    Molly: A big part of maintaining a great sex life over time is your attitude toward sex and your relationship.  So many of us have insecurities about pleasing our partners or looking hot.  Throw that out the window.  As adults, we don’t get to play and have fun as much in everyday life.  Sex is truly the one area where we can let loose, be silly, enjoy what feels good and have fun.  This sort of playfulness can be the key to keeping sex interesting and keeping your partner interested in you.  Prerequisites include an open mind and the possibility that you’ll try some things you won’t like.  Then the world is your oyster.

    Inspired to try something new?  Use coupon code sw411 and save 10% on your next Self Serve order.

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