NYC friends, Pick up the Metro paper!

 

New Yorkers, look in the Thursday Metro Newspaper today for Self Serve gift ideas for Valentine's Day.  We hope your subway ride is a little more exciting this week!  Use coupon code metrovday for $5 off your order.

In addition to the Metro reader discount, everyone gets free shipping on orders over $100.

We hope your Valentine's Day lovin' lasts more than just one day.  Join the Self Serve email list for more sex positive ideas to make any intimate relationship more fun.  We also send out exclusive discounts, email specials, sex tips, articles and more.  We know you get lots of email, so our updates are only a couple times per month.

You can also join the community on facebook!

Valentine's Day Gift Ideas 2011

Here are the Self Serve top picks for this Valentine's Day.  Lots of these are new toys at Self Serve and we're really excited about them!  Check out the Sale of the Week, too for a big bargain gift idea.

Big O Vibrating Ring

An upgrade from the basic, vibrating cock ring, the Big O Vibrating Ring is the newest inexpensive couples' toy.  This vibrating cock ring is a wearable ring the guy can put on hands-free during sex.  That means vibration on or near the clitoris during sex- a perfect combo for most women!  This ring is different because it offers two settings of vibration- steady, low vibration or a 9 pattern pulse.  This second setting is brilliant.  It's random and keeps you guessing, which means the sensations are more exciting and surprising than just a pattern vibrating on repeat.  And for only $19.95 it's an inexpensive toy to try.

Jimmyjane Afterglow Candles 

featuring two new limited edition scents! 

Afterglow massage oil candles from Jimmyjane are one of our favorite sensual treats for Valentine's Day, or any day.  These gorgeous, aphrodisiac-scented candles fill the air with a rich aroma, then melt into luxurious massage oil.  The ceramic casing has a pour spout on the corner to make dripping the oil on your love easy and smooth.  These candles burn at a low temperature, so they feel warm going on the skin, but certainly won't burn or ever feel waxy.  Set the mood,  enjoy sensual touch, and moisturize with warm massage oil.  Just for Valentine's Day, we have two limited edition scents:  Truffle Gardenia and Sugar Absinthe.  Afterglow candles are $29.95 each.

The We-Vibe 2

If you haven't heard of the We-Vibe yet, you're missing out!  It's an amazing innovation in couples' toys.  It's the first couple's vibrator that a woman can wear, hands-free even during sex.  It's a great solo toy for her or a toy to share.  The palm sized, c-shaped vibe inserts vaginally to hug her G-spot, as the other side hugs the clitoris.  The We-Vibe 2 has vibrators in each side, so there's stimulation inside and out.  It has nine amazing speeds and functions, too.  

But wait... it can be used on him, too.  Cup the toy in your palm, lubricate with water-based lube, and curve it around the penis.  It can be an amazing add-on to a hand job or blow job.  The We-Vibe 2 is such a great design for all sorts of uses.  Of course, it's also waterproof and rechargeable.  This little object of desire is $99.95.

Evolved bullet vibes

These new bullet vibrators from Evolved are a-mazing.  We just introduced the Mini Goddess Bullet and the mini 5 Ring Circus Vibe, and they're both amazing mini vibrators.  They make look adorable, sleek and tiny, but they are strong, too!  These waterproof bullet vibes have 5 different speeds and function of vibration and a one-year warranty.  They are $24.95 each.

The Sidekick Sleeve

This classic, inexpensive sleeve for men is a great toy for a guy or to use together.  The small, soft, phthalate-free rubber sleeve has lined texture inside and a smooth surface outside.  Use it either way with water-based lubricant as a masturbation sleeve, to improve any handjob or use during oral sex for the best BJ ever.  You can use it in various ways by tightening your hand around it, sliding it up over the head of the penis, or folding it over for a tighter sensation.  At only $14.95 you can't afford not to try it.

Sex Music

As Valentine's day draws near, I am updating my playlists for both "romance" and "stripping". Both lists are made up of love songs, or songs that get you in the mood for sex. However the "romance" songs are, well...romantic music that put me in the mood for "making love". Soft, slow, tender-hearted music that you might slow-dance to while you gaze into each other's eyes. Sex to this music is usually slow, soft, gentle and makes you want to cuddle for a long time afterwards while you bask in the afterglow.

The "stripping" playlist (for lack of a better name) is music that puts me in the mood for fucking. Raunchier songs, usually with a good rhythmic beat that evokes the more raw, animal side of sex. A few of the selections might seem strange, but they are on there because they make me feel sexy, for whatever reason. Britney Spears' "Circus" for example is kind of silly and fun but the lyrics just apply to me -- "put-on-a-show-kind-of-girl...like a firecracker, I'll make it hot...all eyes on me in the middle of the ring..." This type of song isn't traditionally dirty or romantic, but it puts me in a teasing, sexy, hungry mood. Probably the most effective ones on here are "Feeling Love" (you make me feel like the amazon's running between my thighs!) and "Nasty, Naughty Boy" (gonna give you a little taste of the sugar below my waist!). "Lovin, Touchin, Squeezin" has lyrics about betrayal and revenge, but I can't resist that dirty beat that simulates intense, focused, slow thrusting.

If my husband comes home and hears the second list playing...he knows that he'd better take his vitamins!

I'd love to hear what your favorite sex music is, either romantic or raunchy. I'm always adding to the list...

Love, Bliss

Songs for Romance

#34 - Dave Matthews Band

To Make You Feel My Love - Hilary Scott

Let's Stay Together Al Green

Eternal Flame The Bangles

I've Got a Crush on You - Linda Ronstadt

Into the Night Benny Mardones

Come To Me - Bobby Caldwell

I'm On Fire - Bruce Springsteen

Will You Love Me Tomorrow? - Carole King

What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life - Chris Botti featuring Sting

Wicked Game - Chris Isaak

Longer - Dan Fogelberg

The Look of Love - Diana Krall

Misty Blue - Dorothy Moore

I'll Be - Edwin McCain

Your Song - Elton John

She - Elvis Costello

Can't Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley

Love Me Tender - Elvis Presley

Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton

At Last - Eva Cassidy

Songbird - Fleetwood Mac

Crazy Love - Van Morrison

I Want You to Be My Love – Over the Rhine

Shameless - Garth Brooks

Falling Slowly -Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

Beautiful - Gordon Lightfoot

The Sea And The Rhythm - Iron & Wine

Stardust - Willie Nelson

Something Fine - Jackson Browne

Unchained Melody - Willie Nelson

Have A Little Faith In Me - Jewel

You're Still You - Josh Groban

Faithfully - Journey

Wash Me Clean - K.D. Lang

Unforgettable - Lou Rawls

This Is For Life - Luka Bloom

Have I Told You Lately? - Van Morrison

Nobody Knows Me - Lyle Lovett

Crazy for You - Madonna

Dream a Little Dream of Me - The Mamas & the Papas

True Companion - Marc Cohn

You and I - Michael Bublé

When I Fall In Love - Nat King Cole & Natalie Cole

Harvest Moon - Neil Young

Cello Song - Nick Drake

Come Away With Me - Norah Jones

Fever - Peggy Lee

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Roberta Flack

When You Say Nothing At All - Ronan Keating

Samba Pa' Ti - Santana

Underneath your clothes - Shakira

Fields Of Gold - Sting

Heaven's Here On Earth -Tracy Chapman

Smoke And Ashes -Tracy Chapman

Moondance - Van Morrison

Someone Like You - Van Morrison

Unchained Melody - Willie Nelson

Someone To Watch Over Me - Willie Nelson

Constant Craving – KD Lang

"Stripping" Music

Wicked Game - Chris Isaak

Feelin' Love - Paula Cole

Nasty Naughty Boy - Christina Aguilera

Red House - Jimi Hendrix

You Can Leave Your Hat On - Joe Cocker

Need You Tonight - INXS

I'm On Fire - Bruce Springsteen

So Hott – Kid Rock

Black Velvet - Alannah Myles

Fever - Eva Cassidy

Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' - Journey

Darling Nikki – Prince

Trouble – Over the Rhine

Piece Of My Heart - Janis Joplin

Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing - Chris Isaak

If U Seek Amy - Britney Spears

Cream (Version Without Rap Monologue) - Prince

SexyBack - Justin Timberlake

Slow Ride - Bonnie Raitt

The Stroke - Billy Squier

Dirrty - Christina Aguilera

Bad to the Bone – George Thorogood

A Little Less Conversation - Elvis Presley

Let It Rock - Kevin Rudolf & Lil Wayne

London Bridge - Fergie

Come Baby Come - K7

Get the Party Started - P!nk

Eyes Like Yours - Shakira

Hurts So Good - John Cougar

Circus - Britney Spears

S & M – Rhianna

ABQ V Day Events Guide 2011

Every Valentine's Day, Self Serve shares ideas for a fun and creative Valentine's Day*.  We've got great ideas for New Mexico couples, happily single folk, friends that are sick of the hype and new lovers alike.

Feel free to add more ideas in the comments below!
To get more sex tips, Albuquerque events and discounts, join the Self Serve email list.

1. Learn random stuff at Ignite 9
2. Surprise someone with a love note published in the Alibi (due February 2nd at noon!)
3. Attend the 5th Annual SW Burlesque Showcase
4. Take surprisingly sexy Biopark tours Birds & the Beasts and Love Bugs at the zoo
5. Eat your heart out at Jennifer James 101 or Seasons, both offering unique theme dinners
6. Explora with someone you love
7. Enjoy free decadence at the Self Serve Wine & Chocolate Tasting (RSVP to get in!)
8. Make zines at "Screw You, Valentine's Day" night at Cellar Door Gifts and Gallery
9. Sadly, Seventh Goddess is closing... get beautiful lingerie and sexy gifts now on sale
10. See NM Gay Men's Chorus in a Cabaret: It's Just Love, What's Everyone So Scared Of?
11. Give Blood & get your heart health screening at a YWCA Sharing the Love health fair. 
12. Enjoy desserts, music and entertainment at Feast of Fools in Santa Fe: Love in 3 Rings!
13. Try something new in bed, and take your self or your sweetie to Self Serve.
14. Single? Dreaming of some fantasy date night? Give yourself that gift.  Treat yourself to a hot tub, a massage, maybe some sensual dessert and some self-love.  You deserve it.

*Keep in mind events above have various dates, so plan ahead!

The Third Kiss

Hi there!

I’m Kiki DeLovely, Self-Serve’s newest guest blogger. I’ve recently started publishing my erotica and I’ll be sharing excerpts of these steamy stories with you here.

This little morsel comes from my story “The Third Kiss” and appears in Best Lesbian Erotica 2011. Coincidentally, you can purchase said book at Self-Serve. ;)

I’ll just preface this to say that the excerpt is from the middle of the story--to find out what happens on either end, you’ll just have to buy the book. ;) Our narrator is typing her dream from the night prior to her crush...who happens to be sitting directly across from her.



We fell to the floor again. With fury and madness, fell onto each other. With burning and intensity, fell into each other. A tangled mess of hands searching, limbs interwoven, my lips unable to leave yours, your tongue wrapped around mine. Not caring if we could even breathe, let alone remember to do so. Grasping, desperately, pressing harder and harder up against each other, knowing that we had to remain above the thin layer of clothing separating mouths from hardness, fingers from wetness. Knowing it, loathing it, and yet, it making that first kiss all the hotter. The ardor gripping us so tightly that we might suffocate. That first kiss lasted an hour easily--maybe longer. You were packing and I felt you grinding against me, your cock stiff on my thigh. You wanting me so badly to do more to acknowledge its presence. Me wanting so badly to straddle you and ride out this orgasm that had been teetering on the edge from the beginning, leaving me dizzy now. If only for a brief moment of release. Knowing that, for me, it would be ever so brief--wanting more, always wanting more. So instead, reaching down, I grasp your hardness, hoping to relieve you, hoping that relief will last longer than a moment.

The moment my hand makes contact, you moan deeply in my mouth, your tongue reaching further, the vibration echoing down my throat, penetrating me as I wish you could. I take your cock in my hand and work it how my pussy would, rubbing you up and down, both of us too excited to take our time. I stroke you firmly, moving faster, as fast as I can with such the protective layer separating my palm from really getting a good grip on you. You’re so lust-crazed that you thrust at an impatient pace--an impending explosion bursting at the seams--your tongue moving with an unimaginable quickness. The way you move that tongue in my mouth, something I had never experienced before, and with such speed that it makes it difficult to concentrate on my task at hand. So I begin to suck on it, which quiets you briefly, only to make you all the more excited again. You regain control, fucking my mouth intently with your tongue, as you imagine what my lips would feel like wrapped around your cock.

And right then the seams give way and you explode with an intensity of bulls charging through a brick wall--coming so hard that I feel it rampage through me and all my weight collapses on you, exhausted and sated in the here and now.

We laid there, marinating in bliss for just a few minutes before realizing we had to get back. So we smoothed our clothes, ran fingers through each others’ hair, and started back. On the way up, you trap me against a wall in the stairwell and all the desire floods back, rushing over us, and you take my chin in your hand, bringing me towards you for another kiss.

I stop you. “Don’t you think you already used up your three kisses?”

You just shake your head and smile. “This is only the second one.”

Brickhouse Chronicles: Fat Like Me- All About Starting a Fat Pride Group...

Brickhouse Betties is a dream and passion of mine that has become a reality thanks in big part to the lovely ladies at Self Serve and my wonderfully supportive wife. I started this group about four years ago because it had been a desire of mine to start a group where fat people and their admirers and allies’ could go to feel good about themselves unconditionally. My journey in developing a sense of fat pride was fraught with a lot of mistakes and until I met my trans sisters, an overwhelming sense of loneliness. I felt that starting a fat positive group would be a wonderful way of paying forward the beautiful gift of companionship on my fat pride journey that these wonderful goddesses had given me.

In the beginning all I had to begin with were a couple of strong fat pride objectives that I wanted the group to focus on, and once Molly and Matie gave me the green light to start having my meetings at Self Serve, I began to work on figuring out how to implement them into the mission statement. But first came the great panic. What if I wound up hurting more people than helping them? What if no one was as interested in unconditional Fat Pride as I was? What if no one liked me? What the hell was I going to call the group? The first name of the group was ‘The Fat Positive Group’ which lasted for all of two meetings until someone wisely pointed out that the term “fat” wasn’t something that most people would be comfortable with if they’re struggling with body image issues. It wasn’t until my friend Tara suggested Brickhouse Betties that namesake gold was struck.

My next step was to work on finishing up my mission statement which would basically sum up all of the things that I felt would make a truly empowering fat positive group. I started with all the things I didn’t want the group to be.

1) Not a weight loss discussion group- I knew that this one would be tricky because most people still equate being healthy with having a thin body, but I really felt that it was important for people to be challenged to view having a happy, vibrant, and healthy body by some qualifier other than a number on their scale.

2)Not a skinny chick bashing group- This is usually one of hardest obstacles for a fat positive group to deal with. I call it the “skinny bitch syndrome”. This is where someone comes into a false sense of fat pride by denigrating the body type of slender women. Not only does it create a false sense of security at the expense of someone else’s self esteem, but it also takes away the focus from where it should be which is how you view yourself and why you feel your body type is less beautiful. There’s nothing trickier than helping people recognize the difference between having a healthy discussion on the realities of thin privilege within our society and thin body bashing, but the work is always worth it no matter what their body type.

3) Not a women only group- This usually comes as a surprise to most people to hear that the Brickhouse Betties is an all gender inclusive group, but it was important for me to give recognition to the fact that men of all sexual orientations and gender expressions have body image issues as well. I wanted my group to be a safe harbor for everybody. Bears need love too damnit!

These have been my group mission statements since day one, although I’m always learning and adding as I continue my own journey. If I could give one piece of emotional advice to anyone thinking about starting a fat positive group it would be to have make sure you have something in place that replenishes you for when you experience the burn out that is inevitable. Experiencing burn out isn’t a sign of failure at all, but just an emotional and sometimes physical signal that you as the facilitator need to recharge your batteries. As far as what recharges me, I’d like to say that I’m a strong diesel femme dyke who is completely and emotionally autonomous, but it is with the gleeful spirit of honesty that I confess that my safe harbor is in the arms of my wife…who is fat like me.

Brickhouse Betties Yahoo Group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Brickhouse_Betties/

Brickhouse Betties Facebook Group:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/brickhousebetties/

My Wife’s Amazing Leather Bear Blog Home

http://www.blogger.com/profile/10359506735811402423

Leather Bear Tails: Understanding collars

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Rape is About Consent.

Update!  Some progress has been made and the bill is apparently less offensive (though still problematic) after much outrage on the language.  Read more here.

Tell Congress rape has to do with consent, not bruises and broken bones.

A far-reaching anti-choice bill, introduced by Republican Chris Smith and supported by 173 members of the House, includes a provision that could redefine rape in the realm of federal funding for reproductive health care.

Right now, federal dollars can't be used for abortion except in cases of rape, incest, or when the woman's life is in danger. But the Smith bill would narrow that use to "cases of 'forcible' rape but not statutory or coerced rape."

As far too many women know, bruises and broken bones do not define rape - a lack of consent does. Please sign the petition today.

Self Serve is all having pleasurable, healthy sex because you're excited about it.  Read more about consent here.

Amazing Sexercise Toy: Smartballs Teneo Uno

The most fun exercise regimen?


Working your PC muscles for better orgasms, a stronger core, and a healthy pelvic floor!

 


The Smartballs Teneo Uno are a Self Serve pick for fun and easy sexercise.  There are also double Smartballs available, too.


Smartballs are also called love balls, vaginal balls or a version of Ben Wa balls. There are heavy little balls inside the silicone shell you see, so that inner ball moves within you while you wear it.  The gentle to intense vibrations of the vaginal balls optimally train the pelvic muscles.  It's the easiest way to exercise without even working too hard. 


A well-trained pelvic floor assists a woman in reaching orgasm, paving the way for more fun during sex.  Doing kegel exercises is an important and fun task for new moms and during pregnancy to regain strength and flexibility in their vaginal muscles.  Strong and flexible PC muscles can lead to an easier birth, and doing kegels post-birth can tighten the muscles naturally.


How to Use Smartballs:


To strengthen pelvic muscles and support postnatal exercises,  insert Smartballs lengthwise into the vagina until only the removal loop is outside the body. Add a light layer of water-based lubricant to make insertion easier.  The vibrations of the inserted balls send a signal to the pelvic muscles that something needs to be held onto, thereby training the muscles.


Smartballs can remain in the body for just a few minutes or a few hours.


For the greatest effect, they should be worn during everyday movements. Use the removal loop to pull them out. Women, who would like to train their pelvic muscles during pregnancy, should only
use Smartballs and other PC exercise toys after consulting with their midwife or doctor.


After giving birth, Smartballs should only be used after all birth related injuries have healed and the lochia has stopped and postnatal exercises have already begun.


In every box of Smartballs, there are extensive user instruction and exercise ideas.


Other ways to enjoy Smartballs:

• Lay on your back, insert the ball, squeeze your vaginal muscles and pull the cord for resistance. Try this in reps of 10 with breaks in between.
• Insert your Smartballs, grab a small, strong vibrator, wrap the cord around the vibe, and enjoy the internal vibrations!
• Put the Smartball cord around a penis or dildo during sex, and enjoy the teasing sensation as the ball bounces between you.

Want more facts and tips about kegels?  Check out this fun video from the Sex is Fun crew:

So You're at a Play Party... Now What?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.